1. Woke up with what felt like the wieght of the world on my chest. I want to say so much to so many people but can't... not right now at least.2. Caught an early morning bus and headed out to Seoul. There was someone I had to talk to and I just really needed to get away from Cheonan. I needed to clear my head.
3. Ended up meeting up with a friend for lunch. He took me to a buffet restuarant where two Koreans clearly mistook me for a Russian girl and sent me dirty looks for my whole meal.
4. It was nice seeing my friend but I missed Cheonan... I missed my friend in Cheonan.
5. After lunch, I headed up to do some window shopping in the underground mall. I picked out a really pretty skirt but then decided not to buy it. The skirt reminded me of Kim Tae and so I got sad. A few months back I had a experienced a bad allergic reaction on my legs. I was so upset about it but Kim Tae use to take me every week to the skin specialist. My legs started getting better but then when I refused Kim Tae's proposal, he stopped taking me to the specialist. I'd go on my own but the doctor doesn't speak a word of English.
6. I know that Kim Tae is having a hard time lately but he's got to step back and look at the bigger picture... this isn't ALL about him. There's other people involved. I knew when I refused him that I'd be losing a great friend and someone who I considered my family here in Korea. I had a hard time too, why doesn't he understand that?! At the end of it all, he gets to go home to his family, childhood friends and his buddies. I don't come home to anyone. I could go missing for days before anyone would notice. So while he's being comforted by all those who love him, I'm stuck in this empty house with Mi Nam, a dog I'm sure only loves me because I am the one who feeds him. I'm hours and hours, miles and miles away from those who'd comfort me. This isn't fair.... he has to see this isn't fair for both of us.
7. I did a terrible thing today... I bought myself a personalized necklace. I had seen it at Yawoori and well, my apartment looks unto Yawoori, and so everyday I think of it. It's silver and will have my Korean name on in (Su Hyun). It's so pretty but I won't be able to pick it up until this Thursday.
8. Okay, so it wasn't such a terrible thing but according to tradion, it's bad luck for a woman to buy herself a necklace. They say if you love someone, you keep them close to you, close to your heart... like a necklace. So, a necklace should be the gift from someone who you love and who loves you in return. Wearing this necklace symbolizes that you promise to keep them close to you, close to your heart. And so buying yourself a necklace symbolizes that you lack love and rather keep yourself close than any other person.
9. I'm seriously falling for this guy! I'm totally head over heels for him and even
though I don't think we have much in common, I get butterflies every time I'm with him and I totally adore him. I saw him tonight and, although we had a bit of a disagreement about something petty, I couldn't help but light up with a smile when I saw him. He is so special to me.10. Tomorrow midterms start for my students and so tonight I started getting nervous. I've given plenty of tests before to students but not at this level, not at the university level. This is serious stuff
QUESTION OF THE DAY...
Where are you Kim Tae?
QUOTE OF THE DAY...
Because you are in control of your life. Don't ever forget that. You are what you are because of the conscious and subconscious choices you have made.
-- Barbara Hall
4 comments:
Never, never underestimate the love of a dog. Of course Mi Nam loves you because you feed him, but dogs also understand companionship, love, and tenderness. Don't believe for a second that all he wants from you is food. Give him a little credit! Sarah
hey Amy, hows are you? i hope you can get things sorted out; kim tae, midterms, guy you like, skin problem, talking to people etc. it seems all i ever say is "i hope" but there isnt else much to say. although i feel helpless, deep down i know youll pull through, like you always do.
have a good tuesday =)
much love,
bram
Hey Sarah... ya, I suppose I should give Mi Nam more credit, although for a dog he's not too smart. He still tries to eat his own poop and he is infactuated with his own reflection in the mirror. None the less, me coming home to kiss him seems to be the happiness moment in his day and so that's pretty awesome.
And Bram... hey dude! Things aren't really getting sorted out. I'm kind of forced to sit this one out on the bence and wait for others to deal with it. All I can do right now is wait and cheer them on... kind of sucks!
Ya, you're right... I always pull through. I don't think that God would give us anything we can't handle, having said that however, most of these things we bring upon ourselves and I definitely know where I made my mistake... NOW I know. It definitely would have been better to see it before I did it.
Hey Amy,
I think you need to visit www.postsecret.com
:o)
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