2. Ran into a super uncomfortable and totally nerve racking situation that, trust me if I could I would, but I seriously can not post about. Let’s just say either I’m reading too much into the situation or I did in fact bite off more than I can chew.
3. Anyway, so I called up Pretty Boy, naturally, cause he is my boyfriend and well, that’s what boyfriends are for. Turns out he doesn’t understand that. Maybe he misunderstood the situation, maybe I misunderstood his title as boyfriend. But for whatever reason, it only added to my stress.
4. So, I called up Hannah and insisted that she head out with me for a late night girl chat. I needed someone to vent to; someone to calm me down.
5. Definitely the highlight of my day was when I told Hannah that Buff Boy had a chest bigger than 99% of the female population here in Korea (the 1% being us foreign chicks.. just jokes). In response, she yelled out, “I want to touch his breasts!”… hehehe. Oh my gosh! I take it she doesn’t know the word “chest” and the fact that women have breasts, men have chests. I laughed so hard and was in tears…. So funny!
WARNING… THE FOLLOWING IS ME DOING NOTHING BUT VENTING!!!
6. Maybe Hannah was right. She’s not the only one to claim that love is a game. It’s a silly cat and mouse game in which I repeatedly find myself being the foolish cat. Love is only a game because certain people make it out to be that and I just so happen to be the one who dates these gamers. Everyone in life wants to love and be loved but neither men nor women really understand each other and thus it turns into this mix-matched game of miscommunication, heartache and disappointment.
7. I’ve waited long enough for my Prince Charming but in the mean time I’ve kissed too many frogs hoping they’d turn into my prince. No such luck. A frog is a frog. The only guy that’s shown me real love (besides my father but that doesn’t count in this situation) is that of my four-legged, poop-eating, pillow-drooling dog Mi Nam. The highlight of his day is seeing me come home by wh
ich, regardless of how sleepy he is, he runs happily to greet me with his stump-of-a-tail wagging behind him. It’d be nice to be the highlight of a two-legged man’s day as oppose to Mi Nam’s. Will Mi Nam be the greatest love of my life… is this as good as love will get for me?!!! Oh my gosh!!! 8. When I was in university my friends use to call me “Sugga Mama”. I use to joke around and say, “They don’t call me Sugga cause I’m sweet”. Truth be known, they called me that because I always had my share of guys chasing me. I dated a lot simply
because I didn’t want to be the “Single Girl” and it came with lots of perks – drives to school, help with homework, trips to the beach, and so on. But it seemed that by the end of the month I’d be bored with Mr. What’s-His-Name and so I’d get another flavour of the month. I was like a walking, talking, breathing Baskin Robins. I knew I broke many hearts but I didn’t really think two cents about it. I simply didn’t believe in love. Or at least I didn’t believe love would ever find me. But now the tables have turned and I’m convinced that me falling in love is 
God’s punishment, a kind of revenge on behalf of all the dudes I left broken-hearted. 9. When it comes to love, my heart comes with a warning, “Fragile; Handle with care”, that men repeatively seem to ignore. Maybe I should make it more obvious and write it on my forehead or have it printed on my business card. Love has made me out as a fool, yet again, and tonight I was quite embarrassed in front of Hannah and hurt when Pretty Boy hung up on me. This is pure
B.S. I may love him so much but it has made me a sensitive and weak woman. I can’t focus, can’t think, I’ve lost sleep, lost my appetite,… and for what? For the weekly kiss?!!! Oh please… Mi Nam would drown me in kisses if I were to let him. 10. And so, on that note, I gave up and as I said my bedtime prayers I prayed to God that I’d wake up tomorrow with the blackest of black hearts. Maybe life would have been better if I had never tasted love. I rather feel nothing than the roller coaster of emotions that “love” has thrown me on. Call me melodramatic, overly-sensitive... I don't care. This is what I feel.
QUESTION OF THE DAY...
What's the point of love?
QUOTE OF THE DAY...
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
-- Woody Allen
3 comments:
Yeah, love stinks. I've had my share of heartaches too. I keep thinking there must be something amiss in the cosmic law somewhere, because I keep falling for all the wrong guys. Just last month, however, a friend suggested I read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." I'm not much of a self-help gal, but the book was a real eye opener. Of course I knew men and women are different, but the understanding of what that means didn't exactly hit me until I read the book. For us girls, love becomes the center of our lives once we have it; for men, it's sort of an add-on. Even if it hurts to hear it, we are not the center of their lives. They don't need us 24/7. Sure, some guys are more sensitive than others, but in general, I think these rules are true. It doesn't necessarily mean they don't love you –Maybe they just love you differently. That said, I'm a big believer in communication. If you don't know where you stand, ask. Better to know now than to keep walking in the dark. (I'm 2am here in Russia and I'm falling half asleep on the keyboard, so ignore all the typos and misspellings in the post). SARAH
I sort of hate to say it, but I agree with Sarah in that we are not/nor will we be the center of guys' lives. Even if he treats you like a princess and showers you with affection, there's a limit to how long that will last. And when it fades ('cause it will), there has to be something solid in its place. His love might not always look like a romantic love, but if it's deep he'll always care about your well-being and be concerned with how you feel. Since getting married, my husband is not at all romantic (he was when we were dating, though) but I know he loves and cares for me deeply. If I'm not happy, neither is he. This is the kind of love that will last forever, so even though I'm sad to have lost the romance and the constant affection, I'm as content as I can be married to a man (yeah, as opposed to married to a woman--lol).
Oh my gosh... I'm so depressed now.
Well, not really but still.. oh my gosh.
So basically what you're saying is that I'm doomed no matter what. This IS as good as love will get. Hmmm.... love bites.
I think when it comes to love though, no one really understands.
I certain don't... nor do I really care to understand anymore.
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