1. Word of the wise to all those Koreans out there reading this: I don’t like being pointed at and being called a foreigner. I don’t point at you and call you a Korean. You are a person, I am a person… fair enough?!
2. I thought I was being polite and friendly when a father and his two daughters stopped by the boxing club to ask Milk Dud about membership. I placed three pairs of slippers down on the floor for them, asked them politely to wait while I went and got someone to help them. Next thing I knew it, I was being treated like some kind of side-show freak show. As Milk Dud and the father talked, the two girls continued to bombard Milk Dud with questions about me and then they repeatedly pointed and said comments about me. I lasted a good ten minutes before I got fed up. I walked over to the couch where they were sitting and asked them, “Do you know who I am?” They replied with “a foreigner”. “No, I’m not a foreigner so be careful.” I said.
3. I hate the word “foreigner”. After living in Korea for almost 4 years can you really say I am still a foreigner? I know I’m not Korean but I probably know more about Cheonan then those little ankle-bitters. And what ever happened to just being called “a person”. I don’t want to be called a foreigner and treated like I’m on some kind of display. “Oh look… the foreigner can box… oh look, the foreigner eats kimchi… oh look, the foreigner can use chopsticks”. Oh please. On some days I’m so tempted to turn around, forget my manners and yell out, “Oh look, the Korean has no manners!”. So what I’m not Korean… congrats on the realization. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure this one out.
4. This ended up causing quite the conversation between Milk Dud, Little Miss Sunshine and myself once the father and his goggly-eyed daughters left. It seems like everyday someone, some where here in Korea, singles me out or gives me the double-look because I’m… not Korean. I don’t even want to say that “f” word anymore; it drives me bonkers. Milk Dud tried to calm me down by adding “they look at you cause you’re pretty not because you’re a foreigner” but if that were true, then wouldn’t they call me “pretty girl” instead?!
5. To be brutally honest here, I don’t feel like I’m a “f” here and I don’t feel like I’m a Canadian either. I’m internationally homeless, or so it feels like. But regardless, it’d be nice to not be pointed at or talked about in front of my face. It’s rude, it’s uncomfortable, and it’s uncalled for. I can understand why children do it but young people and adults… come on. You can’t tell me they’ve never seen a non-Korean before or have never seen a Hollywood movie.
6. And so, on that note, I decided to skip out on tonight’s International Friendship dinner. A part of me wanted to go but it was the getting there that I had a problem with. Feeling like I’m constantly on this freak show parade kind of gets to a person after awhile.
7. I really wasn’t interested in venturing out to Seoul after last night’s crazy traffic stress. Moreover, promises of carb-infested pasta and over priced massive steak kind of killed my interest in the actual meal itself. It’d be nice to meet some new people, I guess, but having to answer, “So where are you from?” about a million times just seemed like a hassle. I’d give my usual “I’m from Cheonan” answer, where upon they’d give me a confused look and then probably repeat the question, hoping that I’d change my answer and tell them a country, like Canada or America. “I am from Cheonan. I teach English and that’s my story”.
8. Q laughed when I told him I didn’t want to go. He knew all along, he said, that I’d be cancelling. And so, instead of getting all dressed up to impress a bunch of people that I’d probably never ever talk to again, I got all dressed up to impress the one person I knew I’d talk to every single day in Korea… Q.
9. The newly revised agenda for the night consisted of a romantic dinner for two at A Bis, followed by a little ice cream to sweeten the night even more, and a cozy couch to cuddle with my two favourite Korean males, Mi Nam and Q, where we then watched a rented movie.
10. Cheonan, home of the walnut cake, Mi Nam, Q and me… and that’s 4 good reasons there why it’s so great. (Ok, so the walnut cake is only half a reason… hehehe.)
QUESTION OF THE DAY...
What do you see when you look at me?
QUOTE OF THE DAY...
Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli
As the story has it, one day I headed to the opposite side of the globe – the Flipside. I arrived in Korea February 16th, 2005 and thought I’d do a year, then leave. I was wrong. I stayed, launched my first company, Flipside Fitness, and then opened Korea's largest boxing club, Hulk's Boxing (now called Hulk's Club).
After 11.5yrs in Korea, I then picked up one day and returned to Toronto, Canada. But then I left again.
Now I live in the Philippines where I am the CEO and head coach of Empowered Clubhouse, the Philippines' first and only boxing clubhouse exclusively just for women. I also am the founder of the Lil' Sistas Project, CEO and designer of Slay Gear and Baa Baa Black Sheep .Ph.
7 comments:
I'm sorry to say that you ARE a foreigner, whether you like to admit it or not. You'll always will be. It's not your country, your language, your race, and that makes you different. I'm not sure that's such a bad thing, except if you choose to make it so. I don't think you should be fighting it either. It's a fact. Just because you've been living in a country for a number of years it doesn't mean you suddenly become a local. You can be "adopted" into the country and the culture, but it's not originally yours and you will always be, somewhat, an outsider. I'm talking as somebody who's spent years teaching abroad as well. Not matter how much you love (or hate) the place where you are... It's not yours.
I disagree with anonymous because plenty of people came to America from other countries and then became Americans. If we were to go and label all immigrants to the U.S. (or Canada, for that matter) as foreigners that would be ridiculous. The truth is that the longer you live in a place, the more difficult it is to have people consider you a foreigner. You feel part of the country, culture, etc. but someone is labeling you as if you just stepped off the plane (or are fresh of that boat as the saying goes)purely because of the way that you look. Anyway, I totally get where you're coming from, Amy. If it makes you feel any better, Asians in the U.S. deal with this sh*t all the time. People ask them where they're from when they were freaking born here. It's ridiculous and racist.
Amy, I can definitely relate. It's not about being called a foreigner even... it's about all the generalizations that come with the word.
Anonymous... I completely disagree. Though my mom didn't become an American citizen until I was 15 or 16 she had lived in America for years. She definitely identified as being an American far more than she identified as being a Korean.
I wasn't talking about the way a person feels about a country, but about how you are seen by others there. Living in a country for a few years does not make you "local." If you went through the steps needed to become a citizen, then maybe. You'd be showing that you are working towards losing that "foreigner" label. But simply residing somewhere for an extended period of time does not make you part of that country.
anonymous--
You say you are talking about how immigrants are seen by others in the country in which they live. That is exactly what I am talking about. Do Americans go around with stamps on their foreheads that identify them as American?! How are you supposed to know if someone is a foreigner or not? You can't, and that's the point. Unless you know that someone is a foreigner, you should not assume that they are. It pisses them off--no matter if they are an immigrant to America or another country (as in Amy's case). That's all I'm saying.
I understand, and sympathize with the frustration with the status of "foreigner" in Korea--especially when one is TRYING to integrate into the culture and learning the language and such. It is more than just being called a "foreigner"--we are forever outsiders in this highly insular country.
However, as a worker and resident in Korea who has neither applied for, nor achieved, citizenship, Amy still technically qualifies as a "foreigner." Yes, a nicer word for it is "ex-pat," but from the Korean point of view, 외국인 is what she is.
Furthermore, culturally (if not technically), Korea would never stop viewing someone with white skin born in Canada as an outsider. Never. Ever. Not even if she mastered the language, lived here for 20 years, had children here, etc. She would be accepted (maybe even adopted by the family she has here) after they learned of such a background and jokingly called a Korean person, but she'd still have kids point at her on the street, yell "foreigner!" and try to speak bad English with her. Or have old men try to give her money because they think she's a Russian prostitute.
It's different in America, a country founded by immigrants, by foreigners. The country is more diverse, people are more accepted (and should be!).
I'm not saying it's right that she's stuck with a label she doesn't want (god, at least two or three times a month, I find myself ranting about those gosh-darned foreigners in this country), but it's there. It's as useless to deny it as it would be to say she's not a woman. Or not from Canada. Or (in Amy's case) not a Polish girl interested in boxing.
Sorry... but that's just my (you'll note non-anonymous) two cents.
“they look at you cause you’re pretty not because you’re a foreigner” but if that were true, then wouldn’t they call me “pretty girl” instead?!
LOL.
Milk Dud is right, and you're wrong, Amy.
The word "foreigner" doesn't really have negative connotation in Korea unless it has changed recently. And it usually refers to an Occidental unless it's used in strictly legal sense.
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