Heartbroken in Cheonan... Friday, November 4

Those that know Mi Nam know he's quite the noisy little four-legged boy – he snorts when he eats, snores when he sleeps, and grunts when he walks. He often gets himself too worked up and has a bit of a coughing/sneezing fit so when I heard him coughing the other day both Snickers and I thought nothing of it; it was nothing really out of the ordinary for him.

Turns out it was pneumonia.

He had pneumonia and it had hit him pretty hard with yesterday being the first real day of concern, and sadly the last day. The first real sign of trouble came at about 5am when I couldn’t sleep and woke up to him standing in the middle of the kitchen floor all out of breath and refusing to join me on the floor mat. I thought maybe he had to go to the bathroom so I took him and Pyen Chi for a little walk. Pyen Chi ran off into the grass but I stood by Mi Nam, waiting for him to finish pee so we could walk together.

Then I looked down and that’s when I noticed what appeared to be black pee. Instantly I knelt down and put my palm into it while he was still peeing. It was pee mixed with blood.

I ran back into the house with the two of them and called Snickers. He had sparring out in Suwon so he was staying at Wonder Boy’s house.

“You need to come home… and come home quickly!” I told him.

I laid on the floor waiting for Snickers, beside Mi Nam huffing and puffing. Occasionally he’d sneeze or cough, splattering a bit of blood on the floor each time. I did the mistake of Googling his symptoms and that definitely didn’t help because it only got me more worked up and more freaked out. Kidney stones were what popped up on the search engine and when I clicked on the first link it told of a story where a boy’s dog had kidney stones and died the next day.

Once in awhile, prior to today that is, I think about what would happen if Mi Nam died and I feel sick to my stomach with the fact that one day he will die. Mi Nam represents a big part of my life – almost my whole life in Korea actually.

By the time Snickers was able to arrive it was just after 7am. I had a personal training client to meet at 8am and Snicker urged me to not go with him, telling me that he promised to return with a smiling Mi Nam. And that he did, he returned with Mi Nam.

For the rest of the day Mi Nam continued to cough, refused to eat, and was breathing like he had just run a marathon. He had pneumonia and later did I find out just how bad it was.

Shortly after 5pm Mi Nam coughed up a cup’s worth of blood in the middle of the kitchen. I did what the vet had suggested; I cupped my hands and did a drumming action on his belly. Then he coughed up more blood but when he went to walk it was like he couldn’t keep his balance. I caught him. I caught him and then up he coughed more blood.

At 5:15pm his pounding heartbeat drastically slowed down. In my devastation, I dropped my hands. They hit his chest and then he let out a deep breath. Snickers told me to turn away so I stood up and kept my face towards the wall. I did the mistake of turning and seeing quite the bloody sight that I’m sure I will never ever forget.

At 5:30pm he died.

We wrapped him up in his two favorite blankets and then laid him in his little bed one last time. Pyen Chi repeatedly came by his bed. She hasn’t eaten since Mi Nam died. I feel rather traumatized by watching Mi Nam literally drown in himself on my kitchen floor and all that that involved but he was surrounded by his little family -- Young Bin, Pyen Chi and me – when it happened.

Later in the evening we dug a little hole for him in the rain. We had a little ceremony for him outside by his favorite spot -- the river -- then laid him down to rest.

I remember when my mother was dying, I told her I was sad that she’d never get to meet Mi Nam. I had told that to Snickers too and when I laid down to sleep tonight, Snickers kissed me goodnight and added, “Don’t be sad. Your mom met Mi Nam today.”

We're all so shocked and I can't stress enough for you to love your four-legged friends and never take them for granted. Mi Nam was very, very good to me and I loved him like no other. He represented a big part of my life, almost my whole life in Korea actually, so he will be missed but never forgotten. While some may say I'm silly for getting upset over "just a dog", I know he was definitely anything but "just a dog" to me.