Last Day of Year One... Tuesday, January 24

I once asked my mother “How did you know you wanted to marry dad?” and she answered by saying “I just knew -- when you know, you know.” Snickers and I dated for a very brief time before jumping into marriage but I knew; I had finally understood my mother’s words because that answer was the only answer relevant to what I felt. It’s like I felt it in my bones that Snickers and I were right together.

I remember waking up on our wedding day, full of fear. Fear because I was so afraid that in the night he had developed jitters and realized that he was way too good for me. I’m four years older than Snickers and in addition to these four extra years of life I’ve had so many more experiences and opportunities to explore life – university, travel, living on my own, and so on. I was ready for marriage but I feared he wasn’t. I find Koreans tend to hold on too long to their young and sometimes it disgusts me that they live with their parents until marriage. They go from being an over-aged child to suddenly being expected to fufill and fit the role of husband/wife when really they’re still very much wet behind the ears with lack of independence and life experience.

I was ready to marry Snickers and though I thought he wasn’t when we did, I wanted so eagerly to start a life with him. A friend once told me that no one is perfect but when you find someone who loves you – flaws and all – you hold on to that person and don’t let go. I refused to let go of Snickers so I married him and I’m glad I did… so damn glad I did.

Snickers may not be the typical husband but he tries. He still leaves his underwear randomly in the kitchen, he never washes dishes unless it’s to “make up” for something he did and I always have to remind him to take out the trash and recycling. But he always goes his way to drive me wherever I have to go, surprises me with random Post-It love letters and egg bread, and always holds my hand when he goes to sleep. He always kisses me before eating whatever food I’ve cooked him and he’s not shy to hide being cutesy towards me, even in public. Hearing him yell out “Baby Angel” in the grocery store as he searches the isles for me always makes me smile.

Being married isn’t easy nor is it easy being married when you both come from different cultures, different countries and speak two different languages but I think it’s these differences that have added to our marriage. They’ve made things more “interesting”. Things are definitely never dull, that’s for sure. In so many ways we’re so different but in so many ways we’re exactly the same, it’s strange in that way because we work.

Tomorrow marks Snickers and my two year wedding anniversary so we headed out for a road trip today, visiting the beach side and laughing at the fact that we still can’t believe we’re married. Still sounds funny to call myself a married woman.