Freezing My Polish Tush Off at the Race... Sunday, November 14

So today was the day of my overly anticipated half marathon.

I had slept over at Cherry Pie's house, well tried to sleep. Between her four-legged sister-in-law (inside joke there, it's actually her dog) yapping at me and me struggling to sleep on a floor mat not my own (and minus Snickers too), I didn't sleep so well.

Damn, I miss my two-legged pillow... my cuddle buddy.. my noise-making, my put-me-to-sleep machine... my spooning partner... my Snickers!!!

But anyways, back to today's turn of events... hahaha.

I had come to Cherry Pie's house well prepared with a bag loaded with goodies, of which included my ingredients for my beloved morning protein-packed blueberry pancake. I even brought along tuna curry, an apple, homemade almond butter, and a whole whack of other stuff beyond food.

Cherry Pie's hubby wasn't too smooth with using his GPS so we ended up at some random stadium with a bunch of middle aged folk playing badminton in the parking lot. Turned the car back around and off we raced with the time ticking down faster than we'd like.

Finally we arrived at the race location, Seoul Olympic Stadium. I stripped down to my racing gear, did some stretching and warming up while Cherry Pie snapped off some shots of us.

It was a chilly morning but I was overly hyper and instantly snapped into giddy mode. I knew I had trained hard and I didn't doubt I could run the full 21kms but I questioned just how fast I could go.

Having Cherry Pie and her hubby there to cheer me on at the start line was really awesome and it really fed my already high energy levels; it really lifted my spirits. I had originally woken up today regretting not being able to have Snickers come cheer me on and I had even convinced myself that somehow he'd show up and would surprise me at the finish line. A part of me felt sad I was experiencing this all without him but having two friends there to support me made a world of a difference.

I had anticipated a lot of people but I certainly hadn't anticipated a lot of people talking to me during the race. I was sporting one my Cheonan UP Boxing Club t-shirts, so numerous people questioned me about it while running. A couple of people even asked to take a picture of me while we were running; I thought that was hilarious.

Honestly, I felt like crap during the first 4kms because so many people were passing me. "Slow and steady wins the race" is what I kept on telling myself but the competitive side of me couldn't help but bring about frustration and remind myself of something my high school cross country coach use to tell me. "In a race there is a rabbit and dogs. Be the rabbit, set the standards and let the rest be the dogs chasing you."

"I don't want to be a damn dog!" I repeatedly told myself.

My neg vibes I was juggling got kicked to the curb around the 9km mark when someone ran up to me and asked me if I was "서수 에이미" [Amy the athlete]. Turns out this particular guy had reconized me from one of my fights on TV, so we got talking a bit about my boxing. He commended me on one of my previous fights that had left my opponent bloody. The conversation was clearly about me and my boxing but it totally flooded my brain with thoughts of Snickers and how proud I am of him and his boxing.

I must say, I really love Korea's running races. Unlike the 10km and 5km races I've done before in Korea, those who ran the half marathon with me today were real runners and I noted very little people taking walking breaks. It was go-go-go from the start, so it was quite impressive. I felt really proud running along side so many dedicated runners and it was great to note how many random people I overheard cheering each other on. It felt like we were all racing towards one goal, the finish line, as supposed to running against each other. It's kind of hard to describe it but I felt really proud today to be running in Korea with the Koreans.

There were numerous drink stations along the course and there were even tables with cut up bananas and chocolate pies. One of the guys running beside me ended up grabbing a full bunch of bananas and ended up passing them among us running close to him. It was hilarious. I didn't want to eat the full banana, for fear of side cramps, but I didn't want to toss it either. Ended up jamming it up my left shirt sleeve and nibbling on it ever so often... hahaha.

The 10km point was marked with gusts of wind from the Han River. Most of the course was along side the Han River but there was a good 3-4kms of course by the Han River that left us totally exposed to the wind. There were no buildings or mountains beside at us to protect us from the wind at that point so it made for a brutal 3-4kms.

The peak of my run came around the 16km mark when I felt myself becoming the "rabbit" my cross country coach used to push me to be. I had started to pass various people that originally had blazed by me, so it felt good. It felt so damn good. Snickers is always telling me to "just enjoy" and though I did enjoy the anticipation of the race and various parts of the actual race, it wasn't until the 16km mark that I really started to enjoy it. I cranked up my iPod and just went with it.

The last kilometer or so was uphill which made for a brutal ending to the race. I hadn't walked any part of the race and I wasn't about to do it at that point either. In my mind I envisioned Snickers on the side lines cheering me on and telling me to run harder, run faster.

And then I caught glimpse of the finish line. I knew I hadn't made my two hour goal because I caught glimpse of the large timer but I still could hear Snickers in my mind telling to push it. So I pushed it. I pushed myself and went into a full fledge sprint for a good 300meters. I'm not too sure where I managed to scrap up this last dose of energy but I was definitely using every last drop of it.

I ended up clocking in at two hours, eight minutes and ten seconds, and as I past the finish line I yelled out in complete frustration. I had given a good run -- a great run -- but I hadn't anticipated the brutal wind. I had pushed myself as hard as I could have, that I am 100% sure of, but it was just frustrating to have repeatedly clocked in under 2 hours during practice runs and then to fall so short of my goal on the actual race day.

I had started off as one of the so-called "dogs" my coach always frowned at but I had ended the race as a strong rabbit... a rabbit to those I blazed by but a dog to my own time.

Damn.

The plan was to return to Cheonan and visit my in-laws with news of my first half marathon but clocking in over the two hour mark weighted heavily on me. I ended up returning home, crashing for a couple of hours and then retracing practically every step I took in the race, examining where I could have done things differently. I still don't know where I could have done differently but I had expected a different outcome.

Snickers called at 11pm, as expected, and I felt rather ashamed to tell him I had failed at my goal. "You are your own problem, not your time" he told me. "You Polish people are too proud, that's your problem" he added. Yes, it's true. I know no one pushes me harder than I push myself and I know no one is more disappointed when I fail than me. I have high expectations for myself and though Snickers always argues that they're too high, I will continually set them high cause, as someone once told me, "Shoot for the moon because even if you miss you'll land among the stars".

QUESTION OF THE DAY...
How much do you push yourself?

QUOTE OF THE DAY...
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-- Confucius