I Don't Want to Grow Up... Thursday, January 13

Honestly, I think I'm more scared at getting old than dying. I've always believed in Heaven and Hell so I know I'm good to go with where I'm headed but it's in heading there that I feel there's uncertainty.

With the coming of the new year Korea has aged me. Korea has aged all it's people actually. By Korea's age system I am now 32 but am only officially 30 -- born in 1980. I'm 32, well 30, and I still act like I'm 20. I feel like I'm 20 too so it's so strange when I reflect back on high school friends on Facebook and see just how "grown up" they've become. Many of them have gotten married, popped out a few kids. Others have divorced and taken on the business world, while many are still where we last met, living in my home town.

Take for instance one of my best friends. She married her high school sweet heart, stayed in the area, bought a house, and had a kid. We use to be inseparable and so alike but now we seem to be polar opposites though both of us are married. She's turned into a kind of modern-day younger Martha Stewart and, though I don't know who I'd compare myself to on a celebrity scale, sometimes I wonder what it is that makes us still click so well even after all these years and all these differences in our life paths.

I know we're only young once but when is the expected age for us to grow up? I use to think that age 30 was the age but then I turned 30 and realized that I feel no different. If anything, I feel younger now than I did in years. Moreover though, I guess I thought with the age 30 would come stability, I'd have my life figured out and future mapped out.

My life is by no means mapped out yet but now days I find it somewhat refreshing to not know what's in store for my future. I mean, it's somewhat nerve racking but I think in it being a bit nerve racking it's also exciting and interesting. Every month my life seems to change in numerous ways. Take for example my finances and schedule. Last month I was training twice a day and tutoring 14 hours a week. However, this month I've been only running (cause of my current wrist injury and now am tutoring 21.5 hours a week.

Ever since Snickers and I visited Canada this past summer he's had his heart set on moving to Canada, so that's future plan we've started to tackle. The other day we spent the afternoon at the police station, working on forms required for his Canadian visa. I think beyond our big move to Canada the only other big plan we're working on for the future is saving up a lot of money.

I know I'm not such a young chick anymore but I'm not an oldy-goldy either. Having said that, the other day the Little Cookie Monster gave me quite the strange face when he showed up super early for tutoring and I had no make-up on. I had just woken up from an afternoon nap after running so I was sporting some black circles under my eyes. It wasn't really a big deal but you know how kids can be; they like to over exaggerate things. It didn't help that Snickers threw in a couple of jokes. Ended up doing quite an intense Internet search and searched out a specific product line that was recommended to me. My shipment comes in about two weeks, sweet. Though I am happy to note that I don't have bad skin and don't usually sport under the eye dark circles, the Little Cookie Monster's comment added to my already growing concern with being 30 and starting to physically age.

As for the growing up part, I think I'll wait a couple of more years before I even being to attack that issue.

QUESTION OF THE DAY...
Are you the person you thought you'd be when you were younger?

QUOTE OF THE DAY...
There is no old age. There is, as there always was, just you.
-- Carol Matthau