Couple Must-Have Items... Sunday, February 20

I usually don’t even bother to give a second glance at the cheesy relationship articles that Yahoo posts online but a specific article caught my attention. It was titled “7 Surprising Ways Happy Couples Stay Close”.

Here’s the seven things it listed as must-have items.

1. A beautifully framed picture from your falling-in-love days.

Looking at a photo of the two of you sitting in a canoe, or wherever, all gaga over each other, is an instant way of returning to that state when you were falling in love. You always want to stay in touch with that magic chemistry you first had and strive to go back to those days in some way.

2. A movie you both love.

3. A unique anniversary to celebrate.

Your wedding anniversary is a lovely date to remember, but it's not the only milestone that matters. It's even more intimate to celebrate less public moments, such as your first kiss, first vacation together or -- hey -- even the first time the pregnancy test turned blue.

4. An empty-nest dream.

Tom Lee, Ph.D., a professor of marriage and family studies at Utah State University, recently completed a survey of 1,400 married people. One of the findings was that couples who regularly discuss their long-range plans are more likely to stay happily married. "If you have a long-term view, you realize that the daily ups and downs don't mean as much," he says. "Talking about your shared future communicates, 'I plan on being here.' The message is that there are plenty of good times yet to come."

5. A fight that never ends.

Every couple has areas where they'll never see eye-to-eye. Every marriage has its own uniquely prickly issue -- maybe for you it's time spent with your in-laws, conflicting attitudes about money or differing styles of disciplining the kids. The point is, you can agree to disagree and still have a happy, healthy relationship -- if you both accept your differences with grace and good humor.

6. Mad money.

Sure, you have funds earmarked for bills and savings, but every couple also needs a just-for-fun account. Spend it on a spur-of-the-moment weekend trip, a pricey bottle of champagne or front-row tickets to a concert you're dying to see.

7. An oversize beach blanket.

Forget about taking it to the shore with the kids; this one is for lovemaking anywhere in the house.

The Seven Things that Keep Snickers and I Close:

1. We have dates.

Day date, mini dates, dinner dates… dates can range from a simple walk around Dankook Lake or a drive out to one of our favorite spots in Cheonan to a more pricey or elaborate event like a trip out to Lotte World in Seoul, but they always include just the two of us. No one else is invited and often our cell phones are ignored.

2. We give each other space and we don’t question time spent in this space.

We already spend a lot of time together. In addition to living together, we also go boxing together, often go run together, and do so many other things together. But as much as we are a couple attached at the hips, we do know that time apart is just as important to a relationship as is time together. Snickers hates leaving me home alone but I’m quite the homebody, so I like using the time to catch up on emailing or whatnot. I think it’s healthy to have a life outside of the relationship so I’m often telling him to go hang out with his boys. Moreover, because I trust him, I don’t quiz him about what he did or bombard him with a dozen questions. What he does with his boys is his own choice and I’m confident and secure enough in my relationship with him and with me as an individual to respect his space and trust him.

3. We play “catch”.

Despite the fact that we’re a pretty smooth-sailing couple and are relatively argument-free, we realize that because we are both equally very stubborn someone needs to step down and “catch” the other person or an argument will never end. Sometimes a “catch” can be as simply being quiet and hugging the other person or it can be simply saying “stop, I love you” when an argument is starting to escalade.

4. We have a “When-We-Leave-Korea” dream.

Our plan to leave Korea within the next year or two is what motivates us to keep plugging away, save money, and personally it keeps me sane when Korea gets a bit too much for me. It allows me to let things more easily roll of my shoulders and it paints a picture of better things to come.

5. We agree to put up with things we don’t like for the sake of the other person.

Snickers doesn’t really like Mi Nam and I don’t particularly care for my mother-in-law, so he often walks Mi Nam by himself and I occasionally suggest visiting his mom. We know doing such things is like scraping your fingernails down a blackboard, painfully annoying, but it’s us trying to show the other person that we do want them to be happy and that we do support them.

6. We have a weekly allowance.

Instead of sitting down to get all anal about money matters, we came up with a weekly allowance. On Sundays we take $100 out of the bank, split it 50/50 between us and how we spend our half is our personal choice, no questions asked.

7. We’ve made it a rule to be brutally honest to each other.

Honesty, trust and respect have always been the three main ingredients in our relationship. If we can’t be honest to each other than we can’t trust each other and if we can’t trust each other than we can’t respect each other. So because honesty is such an important ingredient, we agree to be brutally honest with each other even when what we want to say isn’t exactly what the other person wants to hear. Moreover, if we can’t be honest with each other, our spouse, than who can we be honest with?!

QUESTION OF THE DAY...
What keeps your couple close?

QUOTE OF THE DAY...
Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.
-- Bette Davis