Continuing to Prove It... Tuesday, November 19

I'm a bad daughter, a brutal sister and the worst aunt.

It's been 3 months since I talked to my dad, 1.5yrs since I talked to my oldest brother, 3yrs since I talked to my other brother and maybe a year since I talked to my nieces. 

It has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not I miss them.

I know my family doesn't want me to live in the Philippines but I know they also struggle with wanting me to be happy, despite it mean I don't really fit into their lives or have a part in it.  I know after I returned from Korea, they really thought my traveling and moving around was done.  I know they thought I was there for good, there to settle down, but then I got up and left again. 

I left for 3 months and then just never came back. 

I miss my family more than they could imagine but it does nothing but bring me down and make me struggle with what I'm doing here when I think of them.  And so, consequently, I try to stay super hyper focused on my work here.  

You'll very rarely here me going out for anything beyond business and training. 

I want to be able to return to Canada and be able to justify why I left everyone for three years.  I want to show them something that makes up for the missed memories and lost time together that I spent apart.  I'm feeling the pressure to continue to work at full speed now, now that I'm anticipating visiting Canada in some 32 or so days. 

It's a lot of pressure.