1. Attending Shin Woo’s wedding today was probably the hardest thing I’ve done in a long time. I showed up super early and as I walked out of the subway exit, I had a mini panic attack when I spotted the wedding hall directly in front of me. I turned, jetted it back into the subway stop, and tried to breath.
2. I’m convinced that I was more nervous attending Shin Woo’s wedding than Shin Woo was! When I went to write down my name on the gift envelop, my hand won’t stop shaking and then I forgot my name!
3. And as for the proposed options I gave myself (refer to yesterday’s entry), I went for a combo of e and f. I showed up on time, gave my congrats to Shin Woo and his parents, found a seat and looked at everyone looking at me (or so I felt they were). I was the only foreigner in a room packed to the brim with Koreans and was definitely the most uncomfortable one there too.
4. I tried hard to not think about it and instead tried to focus on the wedding. Shin Woo looked so handsome and his bride was soooo beautiful! Wow! She looked like a princess. She was so happy and so she cried. I cried too.
5. Ryan was the MC at the wedding. He looked beautiful and I knew he was quite nervous. I was proud of him for being the MC and I wanted nothing more than to help reassure him that he’ll do an awesome job, but I didn’t. Instead, I just sat there.
6. Ryan came over and said hi. I said hi back… does that count as breaking my vow of silence?! Two of his friends sat with me and all was fine until I let it slip that I wasn’t staying for the meal. They all questioned me why. I thought of a million and one things to say and yet couldn’t bring myself to say anything.
7. Finally my nerves got the best of me. I rushed out of the wedding hall and was sick.
8. I was suppose to start tennis lessons today with Colin but after the wedding I was in a rather heartbroken state and so I just wanted down time.
9. Came home totally heartbroken yet again and tried to snap out of it. I didn't know what to do and so I headed to the sea to relax with Kim Tae.
10. Ended up watching a foreign flick with Kim Tae thinking it’d be in English. Turns out it was in Portuguese and had Korean subtitles. And if that wasn’t bad enough, it was a fantasy film with lots of guts and gory scenes. So, half of the time I struggled trying to translate (juggled reading the Korean subtitles with trying to make out the Portuguese dialogue). The other half of the time, I spent it with my hands over my ears, my head buried into Kim Tae’s shoulder, and humming so that I couldn’t hear the grotesque sound effects or see what would later turn into nightmares for me.
QUESTION OF THE DAY...
Can I do this?
QUOTE OF THE DAY...
Just do it.
-- Nike
As the story has it, one day I headed to the opposite side of the globe – the Flipside. I arrived in Korea February 16th, 2005 and thought I’d do a year, then leave. I was wrong. I stayed, launched my first company, Flipside Fitness, and then opened Korea's largest boxing club, Hulk's Boxing (now called Hulk's Club).
After 11.5yrs in Korea, I then picked up one day and returned to Toronto, Canada. But then I left again.
Now I live in the Philippines where I am the CEO and head coach of Empowered Clubhouse, the Philippines' first and only boxing clubhouse exclusively just for women. I also am the founder of the Lil' Sistas Project, CEO and designer of Slay Gear and Baa Baa Black Sheep .Ph.
1 comment:
Amy,
I know you know this but you're not the only one who has had their heart broken. I know you don't see it right now but you will get over it. If it was meant to be than it will be. You can't force fate and you can't do anything but put it in God's hands.
You're still so young and you have a whole world at your hands.
You've got a big heart. It will either heal or Ryan will re-win it over. Either way, don't lose faith.
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