Today I was in such a weird mood. I'm not too sure whether it was because of the whole "him" situation or what, but, after a rough night's sleep and one too many comments from random friends, I decided to change my style for today's entry.
My preference for Korean men is no secret but apparently many of my friends and random people I know are still asking questions about it. So, here's my comments about the situation. Hopefully this clears the air.
My Top 5 Reasons why I’m attracted to Korean Men:
1. Their attitude and personality.
They lack that macho, tough guy attitude than many Western men have. Korean men seem to be more sensitive and shy… I like that. I don’t trust a “loud” guy and so I have a hard time trusting Western men. But Korean men, they’re not afraid to put their arm around another man’s shoulder, walk holding hands, and they’re quite proud to announce that they’re great singers! They love the singing rooms and I love that! Nothings hotter than a good looking guy singing his heart out!
2. Their culture.
I’ve always been fascinated with it even before I came here. Their culture is so different from mine. There’s such strong traditions in the Korean culture and things that are uniquely Korean. It’s very family oriented and I love that. Us westerners seem too independent and less focused on family. However, family appears to be the foundation of the Korean culture.
3. Their manners.
They tend to have a deeper understanding on what it means to be a gentleman and this goes beyond just opening the doors, this touches on their whole courtship practices and beyond. I’m so done with dating Western men and having to deal with their sexual aggression and forwardness.
4. Their physique.
I love their jet black hair, darker skin, mysterious eyes and the fact that they’re not covered from head to toe in hair!!! Korean men are very “pretty”.
5. The way they talk.
I love it when they speak Korean and use various totally Korean body gestures. And I love it when they pronounce random English words incorrectly… it’s so cute.
My Top 5 Reasons why I’m nervous dating a Korean Man:
1. Disapproval from his family.
My family will love whoever I’m with, as long as I am truly happy but I know many Korean families want to keep within the culture for various reasons… to maintain Korean values, traditions, etc. Korea is a land of one people: Koreans.
2. I don’t think many Korean men take me seriously.
I get the impression that some of them think I just want a good time or a boyfriend while I’m living in Korea. Honestly, I have NO idea how long I’ll live in Korea. I might leave next year, I might leave in two years, I might never leave… I don’t know. But what I do know is that I’m not up for giving my heart to someone who’ll only play with it and break it. I’m not 20 anymore… I don’t do flings. Living in Korea isn’t a vacation for me; this is my life.
3. I tend to second guess if a Korean guy is attracted to me or not.
What’s considered beautiful here in Korea is so different than that in Canada and I find I occasionally get uncomfortable at times because of it. Korea’s a much more physically conscious country. They put a lot more pressure on image. But, I’m not a Korean girl. Instead, I’m a strong Western woman and so I know I don’t blend in with the general crowd of Korean girls here. I’m not super skinny, nor do I want to be. I’m an athlete. I have muscle. I come from a country where strong is beautiful and guys love a little bit of muscle on a woman. I know my body is different from Korean women but I like my body, not because it’s different but because it is mine and I think it’s beautiful.
4. The old school Korean way of thinking.
Many Korean men still foster some old school Korean ways of thinking and so as much as I love their culture, there’s some cultural ideals from the old school that just don’t sit well with me. Furthermore, many Koreans have not traveled abroad and so all they know is the Korean way of thinking. They can't really understand what issues I'm faced with. The can't appreciate my independence nor can they relate with me fully. Now a Korean man who's done some traveling, that's a different story; that's awesome! It means he at least has some kind of understanding on what it means to be a foreigner and is likely to be more open-minded.
5. Potential sacrafices.
Say the relationship develops into something much more serious; marriage. They say, “You marry a Korean, you marry their family”, and it’s so true. As much as I admire and respect how they value the family unit, it’s also a negative point here. After a certain age, parents need looking after and so that usually means they go and live with one of their children, usually it’s the eldest son. I have no problem having his parents living with us, if anything, I really respect how family is top priority, and would love the added company in the house. I’d love my child/children to grow up with a strong sense of appreciation for family and have that close extended family that I thought I once had. But, what happens if I want to move back to Canada? Convincing a Korean elder to leave their comfortable life and move to a country where they don’t know the language is like pulling teeth and I fully understand why they’d refuse to do so. However, it’d mean I’d potentially have to sacrifice my family and my family memories for the sake of his family’s happiness.
QUESTION OF THE DAY...
When does the art of comprimising become comprimising?
QUOTE OF THE DAY...
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. More
-- Erica Jong
As the story has it, one day I headed to the opposite side of the globe – the Flipside. I arrived in Korea February 16th, 2005 and thought I’d do a year, then leave. I was wrong. I stayed, launched my first company, Flipside Fitness, and then opened Korea's largest boxing club, Hulk's Boxing (now called Hulk's Club).
After 11.5yrs in Korea, I then picked up one day and returned to Toronto, Canada. But then I left again.
Now I live in the Philippines where I am the CEO and head coach of Empowered Clubhouse, the Philippines' first and only boxing clubhouse exclusively just for women. I also am the founder of the Lil' Sistas Project, CEO and designer of Slay Gear and Baa Baa Black Sheep .Ph.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
As someone who is married to a Korean guy myself, I have to advise you to be really careful before getting into a relationship with one. There are so many factors that come into play. My relationship has been relatively easy but I think it's due to the fact that:
a. my husband is the youngest of three sons
b. he was willing to live anywhere with me
c. his father had passed away and his mother was fine with our relationship (this is not common)
d. I hate to say this, but he doesn't have a close relationship with his family at all (he says he would never want his mother to live with us--ever)
I'm sure there are plenty of intercultural relationships that can overcome all odds, but I guess you have to weigh what is really important to you before you get involved. It's a wonderful life, but it's not easy.
The other day when Sung Hyun and I were talking about what we would do if we decided to get married, he asked me if I would move into his moms house with him.
At first I thought that was a good idea. I would learn Korean so fast. I would not have to worry about paying rent, there would be someone to clean up after me....hehe
But the more I thought about it I realixed that I would lose a lot of my independence that I have grown to love. I wouldn't be able to stay up until I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to blast music and go hard on my exercise machine. I would almost feel like a guest. Also, I have found out that I would have to help contriute to the house by paying rent.
Yuck, doesn't sound fun to me. Sung Hyun was a little upset when I told him the reasons why I didn't want to move in. He also told me that if we moved to Canada together that it was NOT a good idea for his mom to come. Afterall what would a 70 year old elderly Korea do in a land of English, with no friends?? Yah I totally agree with him on this one, I just hope his mom shares the same feelings.
Devil's advocate:
I do agree with what ladies above
metioned and I believe that their
takes carry a lot of grativity
,truth and insights because they
are in a relationship Korean males.
Notwithstanding such palpable facts, I would say communication is the first priority that one should account for when considering
taking the relationship korean partners to the next level.
Although parents, mores, friends, conventions and ethos are extremely important when it come to exchanging vows, you might not live with his or her parents and not hang out with his or her friends 24/7. You will talk to for the most of time is a korean person who might not be articulate in English as much as they are in Korean.
Of course, some say "Well, I am learning Korean and so is s/he. So I think down the road we could reach the threshold where you can
talk both in english and korean and understand each other totally."
Well, not necessarily. I am rebutting because I think that communication is a key to success of maintaining a relationship. If you or your partner can not convey
what is supposed to be spat out,
how can you possibly resolve heaps of problems that you will be up against down the road?
Think about how many times you've
asked your korean associates to reiterate what they just said and vice versa. Think about how many
times you have had to dumb down the language so that they'd understand you?
I, albeit not a native english speaker, from time to time speak with Europeans who are believed to
have better English skills than
Asians. If crouch some slangs or
so called big words at a convo, they have this perplexed look on face, ask me what they mean.
Then, what will happen, you get the picture.
Don't get me wrong, I still need
an English subtitle when watching
the West Wing.
Forget about what I wrote.
--Stop being a devil's advocate--
If you love him or her, just go for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Language, parents, friends, Confuscian filial piety and so forth should not hinder you from loving someone. If they do so,
if you spawn certain qualms on
your mind and thus start to hesitating, you do not love them enough.
Jennifer's friend, 5
sorry about myriad typoes above.
crouch ->couch -_-;;
omission of conjunctions
disagreement of pronouns
Post a Comment