1. My morning started off on a bit of a rough note when I got asked to help someone out and had to wake up at 6am, only for them to sleep in.... dang!
2. So much for my morning plans. I was up for the day and so I walked all the way back home and got fooling around on the Internet when all of a sudden I clicked on an unfamiliar link and IT popped up... "it" being my ex's homepage! Now at first glance I froze. One side of me told me to close the page, the other side told me to check it out. So, I went with the stronger side and checked it out. Now honestly, I don't really care if he has a girlfriend or not, that's his prerogative and that's not the issue, the issue was whether or not he ever posted pictures of me. Turns out I gave him over a year of my life and yet there's NO trace of it on his homepage... ouch.
3. That definitely put me in a weird mood and I don't know whether it was cause of my thinking or what, but the rest of the day ended up being just as weird too.
4. I was desperate to get out of the house and so I took a taxi to LotteMart. Picked myself up a sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet iPod Shuffle by Apple. It doesn't have a screen on it to check out what song is playing but it stores about 240 songs and you can create various playlists. I just need it for when I'm training and so I loaded it up with my cardio songs. Cool.
5. Ran into an old friend of mine, well, a friend I met when I first came to Korea. He was all smiles to see me. He asked about my ex and when I told him that we've been broken up for quite some time now and I have a new boyfriend, he was shocked. He kept on insisting that he thought we'd (my ex and I) be married by now. Now, it's one thing to dig up the past, but it's another thing to push it in my face and make me choke on it.
6. Got the strangest of emails from someone I've never even met. Actually, she's the girlfriend of my friend who works at my gym back in Canada. Anyways, she emailed me asking to be a kind of mediator between her and this man in Korea for a business venture she's attempting. Hmmm.... is this one of those jealous girlfriends checking out the female friends?!
7. Today I felt like I was dwindling in the twilight zone and so I wanted nothing more to hit the gym, work it off and then go home to Mi Nam. Well, no such luck. No sooner had I put my Shoxs on at the gym but my phone rang.... it was Yoon Jae.... he had just got off a bus in Cheonan (my city)!!! Talk about a total surprise! And if that wasn't totally sweet enough, he offered to wait while I worked out but I couldn't do that. I couldn't let my boyfriend travel all the way here and then make him wait. I may be a tough chic but I'm not heartless.
8. We grabbed some quick food at Kimbab Chunkuk and then chilled out at Coffee Bean. Yoon Jae commented on the wicked patio at Coffee Bean. "What do you expect, baby?" I asked. "This is Cheonan... everything is better in Cheonan"... hehehe.
9. Yoon Jae had come straight from school and so he wanted to shower. He wanted a t-shirt to change into and so I started to look for one... found one. It was in a closet that I've never used before, of all places. Talk about great luck right? wrong... so wrong. Immediately when I threw it down to him, I realized who's shirt it was... it was my ex's. Talk about having a weird rush of emotions. There I was, standing in front of my boyfriend while he wore my ex's shirt. It felt so wrong. It's almost like that t-shirt allowed the ghosts of the past to resurface. I felt so uncomfortable and so I wanted nothing more than to have him take it off. However, I said nothing.
10. Mi Nam totally adores Yoon Jae, I think he's pretty great too. But as for surprising me like tonight, I have mixed emotions. I think a big part of it had to do with the fact that I was just having a retarded day though. I know his surprise visit was romantic, super sweet and all, but it was so late in the evening and so I was kind of put in an uncomfortable position. I know, I know, I could have turned him away but he's my boyfriend. Having said that though, I think he wants a more serious relationship but I am happy with where it is right now; it's safe. I'm not so involved that I'd get hurt if I ended it right here. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to end. Wow... I really need to stop thinking so much, I think that's what is messing things up for me. Hannah says I should just go with the flow, go with what feels right. But what happens if you don't know whether it is right or not? I mean, is the line between wrong and right so clear cut, or what?! Things aren't always so black and white, there's that gray area. Tonight, I found myself in that gray area.
QUESTION OF THE DAY...
Since when did life get so complicated?
QUOTE OF THE DAY...
Life is rather like a tin of sardines - we're all of us looking for the key.
-- Alan Bennett
As the story has it, one day I headed to the opposite side of the globe – the Flipside. I arrived in Korea February 16th, 2005 and thought I’d do a year, then leave. I was wrong. I stayed, launched my first company, Flipside Fitness, and then opened Korea's largest boxing club, Hulk's Boxing (now called Hulk's Club).
After 11.5yrs in Korea, I then picked up one day and returned to Toronto, Canada. But then I left again.
Now I live in the Philippines where I am the CEO and head coach of Empowered Clubhouse, the Philippines' first and only boxing clubhouse exclusively just for women. I also am the founder of the Lil' Sistas Project, CEO and designer of Slay Gear and Baa Baa Black Sheep .Ph.
9 comments:
I've got 2 words for you Amy and I know you know what I am referring to here.
1. END
2. IT
Hey, hey, hey D.P.,
I know what you're talking about, I do. I've got two words for you though... how about...
1. Go
2. Away
... or
1. Buzz
2. off
... or better yet,
1. Bite
2. Me
Heheheh... seriously. I know what you're hinting at and what you're suggesting. You'd think that after about 3 years, you'd give up and drop the issue. I guess not.
This is probably not my place to say, and I completely apologize (honestly) in advance if what I say is out of place or it offends you. The truth is that, from outside, is doesn't sound you're into Yoon Jae that much. When you talked about your ex-bfs before, you could feel the passion through the posts. It just doesn't feel the same here. Maybe I'm completely mistaken. I know love is always different with each person, but still... I've been in a similar situation before and I wish somebody had pointed that out before I let months and months pass. So I apologize if this seems intrusive, but maybe it's imply a sign of something deeper. Diana
Diana makes an interesting point. I think it wouldnt hurt to wait a few weeks before takeing the relationship to the next level, so that you're ready and know its right. Its better to ruin a relationship by waiting then rushing in.
Oh, and im confused as to why you didnt burn that ex's shirt a long while back ;)
-bman, of course
Personally Amy, I think that there is someone else out there for you. Ok, so you have a preference for Korean men. You also have a preference for a man that respects you and understands your worth. Can a Korean man really understand your worth if he can't even understand your words?
I have to agree with Anonymous here Amy. Amy, I've known you for about 6 years now. Can you honestly say that some Korean man is going to fully know you and appreciate you for the amazing girl that you are. Sorry, correction: WOMAN.
You and I have had endless conversations about this issue. I think your best bet is to wait till next year. You and I both know who I am talking about. He is coming. Just be patient. You are meant to be with. I know that for a fact. You cried so much over him when you thought you would never see him again. Now is your second chance. Things are different this time around. You are not suppose to be friends with him this time round.
Call me a hopeless romantic with his head in his clouds but honestly, I can feel it. I was the one you cried to when he left. I remember it like it was yesterday.
Things have changed in the years the have past. You have changed. He has changed. Your friendship is about to go to the next level, if only you just believe in love again and open your eyes. Love is right in front of you.
If only you would open your eyes.
Open them Amy.
Don't let him pass by you again for the second time.
Open your eyes.
He will open your heart.
Wow!
Juicy comments!
Who is J-Boy?
More importantly, who is J-Boy talking about?
Do tell us!
Does this have anything to do with the end of your contract next March?
Are you coming home in March?
Staying in Korea another year?
Where are you going to meet this guy J-Boy talked about?
Canada?
Korea?
Wow... I don't even know how to even begin to respond to all these messages. Thanks though... I love the feedback!
Here I go...
Hello Diana,
Don't worry. You didn't insult me. Things have changed. He's not what I thought he was and so you're ABSOLUTELY right!!!
Yo Bman,
I didn't know that t-shirt was in that closet. I've never used that closet before.. pure fluke.
Secondly... it's already ruined.
Dear Anonymous,
Very, very interesting point but still, I can't help it. I am very attracted to Korean men, beyond just their handsome features and black hair. I'm curious about them.
Hey J-Boy,
I KNOW you just didn't suggest what and WHO I think you suggested!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess we'll only know what will become of it when I see him. Until then... no comment ;)
Hi Katie,
Forget about J-Boy's comments, he's a bit of a trouble-maker ;)
As for coming home in March... hmm... I don't know. I'm just waiting on the news of one person to hear if I'll be back or not.
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