Highlights of my Day... Monday, May 10

1. I had purposely waited until I was on the bus ride out to my sub job in Seoul to call and wish my mother a Happy Mother’s Day. I had already doubted that I’d get to talk to her because of her being so weak and I had anticipated talking to my father but I hadn’t prepared myself for what he would tell me. Having said this though, my gut told me there’d be bad news, hence why I waited till I was on the bus to call. I’m extra sensitive with issues regarding my family back in Canada so I needed to stay calm, cool, and collective. The bus posed the best place to call. It was a public place where I couldn’t just break down, where people would oversee my call, and I’d have no choice but to retain my composer.

2. As for what he told me regarding my mom, it wasn’t good. It wasn’t good at all, in fact, it was terrible. News consisted of unspotted-until-so-late pnenomia, a twisted intestine, and immediate surgery. It’s just one thing after another and I just don’t know how much longer or how much more she can take, or any of us for that matter. And to think I thought the cancer part of my mom’s ordeal was the worst part.

3. I know everything happens for a reason but I’m definitely struggling to find that reason. My mom being diagnosed with cancer and then miraculously being cured definitely shook up and rejenorated our own beliefs in God. In Snickers’ case it opened his mind to religion, something he had sworn off before. If you were to ask Snickers how my mom was cured of cancer he’d say “because of God”, something that not too long ago he would have rolled his eyes at. But as for all this other nonsense – because that’s exactly what it is – I just can’t justify why it’s happening, more importantly why it’s happening to my mother of all people. Those who know my parents know that they are both very firm in their beliefs about God and how they live. So if things happen for a reason and life lessons are sometimes hard lessons we have to learn, then when the heck is this lesson going to be over?! It’s gone to the extreme, I mean like how many body parts is he (God) going to tamper with and how many injuries, complications, and illnesses is he going to bring upon her before we all lose sight of the lesson and just start hating the teacher?! Maybe what’s meant to be learned in this lesson is so beyond our level that we don’t even stand a chance at grasping it, so the lesson will be lost and pointless. It’s like expecting an elementary student to do a university level algebra question – ridiculous!!!

4. I ended the conversation with my father by telling him to tell Mama Bere that I will be in Canada in 87 days, “and she has to meet Snickers, so tell her she better be there to hug him at the airport or else…” I added. In all honestly, there’s not a day that has gone by this past year that I haven’t feared showing up too late to see her and I fear now that maybe she won’t be able to pull through and hold on for 87 more days.

5. Sitting on the bus beside an overly curious university student who appeared to have no understanding of my phone call but was nonetheless curious, added extra pressure on me to not burst into tears. I did cry however, but it wasn’t until my bus ride home when I sat in the dark and could hide my face that my mind wandered back to my morning conversation and tears appeared.

6. As for what I actually did today, besides try to digest the new news I got from Papa Bere, I worked at the community center in Seoul and had a job interview.

7. My job interview was with Samsung and it was for an in-house consultant. Basically, the job description included sitting in on mock meetings in English and giving them constructive feedback about their English grammar and whatnot, and holding office hours so that Samsung employees could meet with me to discuss any English-related questions with reference to emails, reports or etc. Initially I was interested in the job posting because it posed a different kind of profession that I’ve never taken on and with it being connected to Samsung, a trusted and solid company, I viewed it as a safe position. Having said all this though, let it be known I never would have gone for the interview had they been more honest about the pay as supposed to leaving it open for misinterpretation. They advertised $40 an hour but, as it turned out, that was only for part-time work like morning one hour tutoring.

8. I went into my Samsung interview super nervous but eager and excited to show them my best and hook them. Well, I hooked them, I’m sure of that but when they filled me in on the pay I wanted nothing more than to let them take the bait and leave, as in leave me alone. Getting a wide variety of job opportunities and experiences under my belt interests me but being asked to go from my usual rate of $50 an hour to just under $19 does nothing for my interest level besides kill it.

9. The students at the community center would pretty good today, no big problems beyond the children being typical children. And for the record, it’s not that I don’t like children – I do like children – I don’t like parents who don’t discipline or teach their children manners and instead send them off to school for us teachers to deal with.

10. The hour and forty-minute trek back to Ggum Guum in Cheonan gave my mind plenty of time and plenty of chances to revert back to the phone conversation I had with my father and that’s exactly what happened. By the time I stepped in the door at Ggum Guum my head was drowning in the bad news. Snickers played the role of my hero perfectly and managed to get me smiling again.

QUESTION OF THE DAY...
What's the lesson playing out in your life these days?

QUOTE OF THE DAY...
Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Samuel Butler