The other night it was Snickers' birthday so I put on my best and strutted out the door proudly with my gorgeous man by my side. I thought I was looking rather pretty -- and pretty uncomfortable too in a cocktail dress that was dangerously short. When our dinner finished and I stepped out of the restaurant I couldn't help but overhear the comments of some girls outside.
They said I looked like a man in a dress.
Snickers was still inside the restaurant, paying the bill, so I was out there all alone with a bunch of onlookers watching to see if I'd react. I didn't say anything to Snickers when he joined me outside, nor did I say anything when he asked me what was wrong. But when the girls gave a shocked look, shocked that a Korean man was with me, they made me go from feeling like a man in a dress to a cheap prostitute. You see so many Korean women with Western men but when Korean men date Western women it's so often responded with confussion, as if us Western women are out of their league.
I'll tell you what's out of my league, stupid rude comments like that!
Snickers didn't know what was really going on cause he was on his cell but if I had told him he would have punched them square in the head, no questions asked. I didn't tell him the full story until we got home.
"Do you ever wish I was skinny?" I asked him.
"No, I love your Polish bum... plus if you skinny we no can wrestle" was his response.
So often I feel so out of place in Korea and not because I'm a foreigner but because of my boxing and weight training. I'll never be that skinny girl with stick-thin arms and equally thin legs and I don't want to be either. Mind ya, because I don't fit the stereotypical "pretty girl" label that Korea has created it often leaves me struggling with trying to look pretty.
I live but only a strone-throw away from my weight training gym but I tell ya, it feels like the walk of shame every time I go to and from that place. A guy stopped his car the other day and rolled down his window so that he could get a better look at me. He looked at me with such a confused look and I felt so mad to be feeling so out of place.
"I eat healthy, I train hard and yet the girl who is pencil thing and white as a ghost is viewed as physically beautiful in this country... that's whacked!" I once told Snickers.
This week I'm heading to Canada for a bittersweet visit. I'll be traveling to the very opposite side of this globe, where the women are strong and the men who love them admire and respect that.
I'm looking forward to freely being able to wear a tank top without random strangers fondling my arms or looking at me as if I'm some kind of side show circus freak. I'm looking forward to going out with my husband -- yes, a Korean man -- without people questioning or being confused as to how a Korean man "landed" a foreign woman.
I'm looking forward to feeling free to feel beautiful again.
QUESTION OF THE DAY...
What makes you feel beautiful?
QUOTE OF THE DAY...
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
As the story has it, one day I headed to the opposite side of the globe – the Flipside. I arrived in Korea February 16th, 2005 and thought I’d do a year, then leave. I was wrong. I stayed, launched my first company, Flipside Fitness, and then opened Korea's largest boxing club, Hulk's Boxing (now called Hulk's Club).
After 11.5yrs in Korea, I then picked up one day and returned to Toronto, Canada. But then I left again.
Now I live in the Philippines where I am the CEO and head coach of Empowered Clubhouse, the Philippines' first and only boxing clubhouse exclusively just for women. I also am the founder of the Lil' Sistas Project, CEO and designer of Slay Gear and Baa Baa Black Sheep .Ph.
5 comments:
There's nothing wrong with a woman looking strong and muscular. The problem is that you look muscular but want to wear girly little dresses and the combination doesn't work. The girly short dresses are for women who look girly. When you combine clothes like that with a muscular upper body, it does make you look like a man. If you don't mind that, then go ahead and wear them, but don't take offense when people point it out.
It's not that people in Canada will not think the same thing. It's just that we've been trained not so say these things.
Either learn to live with this or stop trying to dress up all girly and feminine when you don't have the body to match.
And before somebody comes along to say everybody should be able to wear anything they want, I AGREE. You should be able to wear anything you want, as long as you understand it doesn't necessarily look good. If you're 60 lbs. overweight, a tight dress is going to look horrible. Good for you if you have the confidence to wear it, but that doesn't mean you won't look horribly fat in it. You either need to start dressing for your body type or develop a thick skin to deal with it.
Enjoy your trip Amy
Hi Amy,
Those women need their heads examined. I wrote you an email on this posting. I was so mad at how they view you. You are gorgeous and they are just jealous.
You're the best! :)
Beth
Hi Amy :o)
Jealously is ugly. Don't let those women bring you down. You're beautiful so don't let what comes out of others mouth affect the way you see yourself. You work hard so hold your head up and be proud! Have a great trip!
This was really interesting to read. I've oftentimes thought of moving to Korea to teach English and, like you, I have a shape. When I visited, I didn't notice anything but was so preoccupied with the city, of Seoul, itself that I was unaware of those passing by.
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