A Hug from Canada in the Form of Sweet Words... Tuesday, August 27

My email and Facebook inbox was bombarded this past weekend with messages from friends and friends of my mother who wanted to share memories of my mother or send their regards.  It's been two years now and I think this year's anniversary was actually harder than last year's.  Everyone expects the first year to be the hardest but after the first, many friends and family seem to move on, as if my mother got her due time of grievance and now it's over, on to other things.  My mother lived 60+ years and she'll surely get more than just a simple year of remembering her and getting choked up over the loss of her.  You never can nor do you ever get over the lost of someone you loved.  Sometimes I freak myself out, knowing that what I just said is something she'd totally say, and many times it's like she's still her.  She's in the sweater of hers I wear in the morning, my laugh, the bracelet of hers that sits on my vanity table, and in how I'm always telling Snickers to be careful. 

Today one of my close friends, a guy I once dated actually, messaged me.  This is what he wrote: 

I'm not sure if you remember the first time I came to your place to pick you up for a night out. One of the scariest things for a guy to do when taking a girl out on a date is to meet the parents and earn their trust to take her out. You even warned me that your mom might "drill me" with questions. I got a laugh out of it not even thinking twice because that was a thing at that age. 

I arrived at your house, knocked on the door. You welcomed me in and introduced me to you father who was first to greet me while your mom was in the kitchen. You brought me into the kitchen to meet your mom and then you ran off upstairs to finish getting ready(this was a common thing with you. Every time I came to pick you up, there was a 15-20 minute wait for you to finish "getting ready" for something you knew about. Such a girl back then!).

You turned and ran down the hall and up the stairs. Immediately after you were out of site your mom told me to sit down as she had some questions for me. Her tone and stare wasn't to be messed with and I did as I was told. I was taking out her "little girl" and she needed to know a little about me. Who I was, what I did, how i met you, what my intentions were, who my parents were, what they did, was I on good terms with them, how were my grades in school, what were my plans for school, etc, etc. The questions kept coming and I answered every question honestly and without hesitation. Probably because she sat down with a large chef's knife.

About 20 minutes later you came back down and tried to take me away from your mothers questions to continue on with our night. She immediately said she wasn't done asking me questions so I told you I wasn't done answering your mother's questions, so you would have to wait a little longer. I think that was the moment I won your mom's heart.

I know I will never forgot that moment. When guys all talk about the scary fathers meeting them with bats or guns I tell them about your mom with her knife and her questions.

I am and always will be honored to know your mom. She was one of the strongest women I have ever met, a trait which she clearly passed down to you.

My mother always did favor him among the guys I dated -- him and his big dog that was more like a horse.  And even though nothing become of "us" more than several dates, he's always remained close with my family.  Even long after I left Canada, he'd visit my parents, using the side door like my parents liked.  For awhile there he used to deliver our mail and often he'd write little messages on the front envelop, just to say hi.  It's friends like this, people who care beyond what you ever thought they would, that are really touching and really worth holding on to.  We still stay in contact and he still visits me every time I visit Canada, always sure to bring me a big warm Canadian hug.