It costs me $163 a day for the both of us to live the life we are now living.
I estimated this figure based on the rent of both our apartment and club, the water and other bills associated with maintaining them and all our other bare necessity living expenses. At $163 a day, about a week and a half worth of days goes towards Hulk's club building rental with another 2 days to directed to the water bill alone, an additional 2 for our part time trainer, and 3 days for a month's worth of food for the two of us.
It used to only cost us only $53 a day. We were a single paycheck kind of family but it was a steady paycheck. It covered all our living expenses plus it gave us "secret money" -- simple pocket change that was quick to become a luxury of the past once we started Hulk's.
It's funny because when we started doing the renovations at Hulk's, I used to return home so filthy. Snickers would have to help me in the shower, picking out concrete or glass from my hair or help scrub off some kind of chemical that had splashed on my clothes. We'd get up and do it all over again the next day despite there being no real end in sight to the renovations. And, as we drove everyday to Hulk's, I'd see the working women in their heels and pretty neatly pressed clothes. I envied them, not because they were able to wear nice clothes but because they looked right wearing such clothes. I had nice clothes, I still do have nice clothes, but now wearing them feels more like I'm playing dress up in someone else's closet. Friends I used to hang out with I no longer had the time or energy to do so and when I did, I really felt I had nothing really to add to their conversations. They'd be talking about some school festival they all went to or a change in their company's business insurance policy and I'd be like, "I scooped man poop today". They'd laugh because my comment was funny but that had become my life, so incredibly disconnected from that of others in my life whom I used to be so connected to, so alike.
Life seemed so much easier when I had a steady paycheck. It wasn't by any means happier but it was dependable. Not knowing if I'm going to make rent, having to jot down some new Korean vocab for a meeting with a supplier, or visiting a sick member outside of work hours has meant my life has become a lot more complicated and more entwined with others on a much different level.
Trying to plan a trip back to Canada to see my father has become a next-to-impossible idea because the club and my members have become my life. I can't just step away from them for a lengthy period of time. Last Wednesday was the first random full day off I've taken where I didn't skip out on taking it off and go back to work. Time away from the club also means money lost -- money that I'm all that eager to give back to WOW for the loan we have with him. I've never in my life owed anyone a huge chunk of cash. Even when I was a university student, I had a full-time job to cover my school, rent and other expenses. The most I've ever owed was maybe a grand.
The line between business life and personal life has definitely been erased and I am ok with that. My life has very much become go, go, go and I'm able to keep up with it but am keeping my fingers crossed that I don't get sick because of my lack of sleep. Thankfully I eat like a beast, a clean-eating beast that is, and me really changing my perspective on things has helped to keep my stress in check. I try to remind myself to be grateful for the life I have and I tell myself that moments of stress are just really little life challenges. I don't think God gives us anything that we can't handle and perspective is definitely key. I'm constantly trying to check my perspective and keep a cool head. Pesky parkers in our parking lot, for example, have become my biggest pet peeve so I'm constantly trying to calm myself down when I see them. I've met the good, the bad, and the ugly dealing with such pesky parkers. I've been apologized to, smiled at, yelled at, fined, pushed, and spat on having to deal with them. I constantly have to remind myself though that I should feel blessed, blessed by the fact that I do have a crazy cool amount of parking spots for my customers. I really have to learn to forget about those that don't really matter in the bigger picture and not give them what I should be giving my members -- my energy and time.
Today my day started at 7:40am. Snickers and I had to travel up to Incheon for a meeting with the police and then we had to pick up some groceries for the club. We arrived at the club around 11:30am and left at 1:30am. It was a long day, a very long day, and life as I know it has gotten a whole hell of a lot more expensive, more complicated and a whole lot busier.
There is no clocking out at the end of work hours because work never finishes and I think a lot of people don't understand this. Whether it's reading up on personal training tips or pillow talk with Snickers about the progress of our members, beyond Hulk's and my boxing, there are my four-legged friends and that's about it. I have become Coach Amy 24/7 and my work, my passion, has become my life.
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