I swear, if ONE MORE PERSON messages they'll pray for me as supposed to donating to our Indiegogo fight, I'm going to take the strainer off my mouth, respond with some not-so-pretty things, accompany it with angry face emoticons and words that are stronger than the muscles in my little 5ft 2" Polish body.
You want to help, D-O-N-A-T-E. I love God, I respect God, but he's not a get-out-of-help card or an excuse. I've always hated it when people throw religion around, as if their religious words or scriptures makes them all mighty and gives them immunity to getting involved. You want religious scripture, "God loves a cheerful giver", 2 Corinthians 9:7, there you go.
I'm rather over having to suck up my pride, humble myself and ask for help. This was the first and only time I've ever asked for financial help and you can mark my words it will be my last time too. Now I understand why people can lose everything and go homeless -- asking for help down right sucks. I've been raised by very proud parents who taught me the value of the dollar and unless I was given something as a holiday gift, like a birthday gift or for Christmas, I have worked for everything I have. I was never given anything on a silver plate with a silver spoon, instead I was taught to work and earn things.
I wrote the following on my Facebook status update today:
I'm done. I'm am so completely done asking for help -- asking for donations. We haven't reached our goal and I honestly don't think we will so Young Bin and I are going to do it by ourselves, even if it means us both taking on second jobs. Thank you to everyone who has donated, I appreciate it more than you know and you're what has kept my heart from going completely bitter but I'm so completely mentally and emotionally exhausted and disappointed in hoping, wishing and praying people who I care about, people who I have always supported, will care about this and show some financial support. I will continue posting a picture a day as to why to support Hulk's Indiegogo campaign because my Facebook page is monitored by fans, current and potential sponsors, but that will be the extent of it.
It was a tamed down edited version of what I really wanted to say. No sooner had I posted this status update but it was time to open the club. Snickers woke up sicker than yesterday and so I pleaded with him just to let us keep the club closed for the day. He was super sick and I was sick of people. I knew I wouldn't be productive at work today so I begged him to let us just keep the doors locked. No such luck but we did reach a compromise -- he'd go to the hospital and I'd open the club but for Free Train. This meant I only have to manage the club; I didn't have to teach Crossfit or teach boxing.
No sooner did I post my Facebook status update and open the club but then I was visited by a friend. He walked in, greeted me with a huge hug and then we sat down to talk. At first I struggled to talk because I was on the verge of screaming and crying all in one breath. Slowly but surely I spilt my beans though and together we bounced ideas around as to how to continue on with raising funds for the new boxing ring.
We came up with a brilliant idea, a little "corporate begging".
Brilliant ideas always spark up when I'm with this particular friend so it's always great to see him because I know there's always going to be some kind of revelation.
With this new brilliant idea in my head, Snickers out sick for the day, and members all doing Free Train, I started my boxing. My morning of jam-packed disappointment and discouragement mixed with the sparks of this brilliant idea and the fact I didn't have to do anything but get through this work day provided quite the overdose of fuel for my training. Pounded out a solid hour on the sandbag alone in addition to my warm-up skipping and shadow boxing. I then did some weight training too.
I had a kind of "get-the-hell-out-of-my-way, I'm-unstoppable" mentality that I just went with. I was going to get this new ring regardless if friend or family was going to help me or not. I was on a mission and I just had this whole new perspective about it all, like nothing else mattered and I could do anything and everything. I've seen harder times, Snickers and I both have seen harder times, and trying to raise money for this new ring is nothing to the continual Hell we dragged ourselves through when we first started Hulk's. The physical pain of all-day renovations, heavy lifting and the months on end of total lack of sleep. The emotional pain of Junior Mint turning his back on us and certain people who said we would never get the club off the ground. And then there was the mental pain of continual racking our brains with where we were going to get the money to even so much get the hot water turned back on in our apartment and of course the mounds of bills coming in daily because of renovations and whatnot.
This Indiegogo is not going to break me. It may mean I'll disconnect with many wanna-be friends and reconnect with real friends, but it's not going to break me. I've lived in Hell before, I lived there for two and a half months during Hulk renovations and I lived there for almost 3 months back in University when I lived secretly in the library and out of two rented school lockers. Hell was living in Hulk's this past winter with no heat beyond a heated blanket that Balboa had peed on and I had no choice but to put a towel on the spot and sleep on it, having to wake up every couple of hours to run the water so the pipes wouldn't freeze and standing in front of a hair dyer when I changed because it was just so cold. I've lived in Hell three times now but this Indiegogo isn't going to push me back there and those who think it will, well, they can go to Hell. Seriously, I am too strong of a woman, too stubborn of a Polack, and have been through way too much to launch my dream to ever return to Hell.
As you can tell, a fire had been reignited in me and I felt completely on fire.
No comments:
Post a Comment