As the story has it, I woke up and found myself on the very opposite side of the globe – the flipside. I arrived February 16th, 2005 and thought I’d simply do a year, then leave. Years later and I’m still here. I went from being some random foreign girl to taking on labels I never imagined – university professor, film extra, professional boxer, CEO of my own girls-only fitness company, Flipside Fitness, and CEO of my own boxing club, Korea's largest -- Hulk's Club, formerly known as Hulk's Boxing.

After 11.5yrs in Korea, I picked up one day and left. I returned to Toronto, Canada but only to pack up my bags and venture out again. Now I'm living in Makate, Philippines. Life, for me, is better in Asia and I'm so happy here. This a new chapter in the book of my life though, it's a whole new book I've started!!! I'm a whole new woman and I left Korea with Flipside Fitness on my brain, Hulk's in my heart, boxing in my bag, and my four-legged friend Balboa Button by my side.

Life is an adventure and this is my story of yesterday.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Struggling in a Funk... Monday, February 20

This time next week I'll be heading to the Philippines and I'm in the worst shape that I've been in in a very long time.  I'm not out of shape compared to average standards.  I'm out of shape compared to MY standards.

Are my standards high?  Yes.

Are my standards perhaps too high?  Perhaps.

But I'm a professional athlete who runs their own fitness coaching business, who is the CEO of Korea's largest boxing club and who is about to launch their third business that's also in the fitness industry.  My standards aren't that of the average person because I'm not the average person.  I'm very much deep in the fitness industry.

I am my own walking advertisement -- the poster child of what I'm "selling", fitness and health.

I wouldn't consider myself to be out of shape but I know my body also isn't where it used to be and where it needs to be.  Having said that I need to be the poster child of what I'm selling there's a certain image I'm going for and right now I don't fit that image in my head.  In my eyes I don't look representative of that which I am selling and so it's frustrating because the look I'm going for requires a lot more attention, effort and time that I just don't have right now because of juggling coaching, my business proposal and all this prep work for my move to the Philippines.

I refuse to be that trainer who looks like they need to be the one getting trained as oppose to being the trainer.  It's like getting your hair done by someone who has bad hair.  Why would you do that, why?!  Being that I'm in the fitness industry, an industry that's often scrutinized as being overly image-conscious, there is the added pressure to look the part I'm trying to sell.  Skinny doesn't mean healthy and no, I don't want to be skinny, but I think there comes a point where a trainer, more specifically a female trainer, is too big to pass off her "extra size" as healthy.  Of course there are exceptions, there's always exceptions, like a female trainer who is also a female bodybuilder in which you'd want to go big, but most female trainers aren't bodybuilders so don't kid yourself.

There is no one size fits all, no specific size that says "she's healthy", but I argue that there kind of is.  There is a number that is important, it's called body fat percentage, and us as female athletes and female coaches we should adhere to it, pay attention to it, and check ourselves.  I know of a fellow female trainer whom I used to work with who was borderline obese and, let me tell you, her working on her own fitness journey and sharing it with clients was what scored her new clients.  Props to her.  But I'm not her and I'm not new to the fitness industry.  The expectations and standards placed on me are so much different.  I would love to be a beginner all over again but I'm not and that's fact.
  
I came to Canada weighing 107lbs and now I weight 137.

My strongest and healthiest weight that I walked around at was 117.

I know a big percentage of the extra weight I've added on has been that of muscle and simple hydration.  I kept myself dehydrated a lot in Korea because of weekly weigh-ins, something that I definitely don't support but I myself resorted too to make sponsors happy.  My legs are so much stronger, I have a super perky butt now and my back is more defined but I'm now a lot heavier and I feel it in the ring.  

I don't crave the gym like I used to though.  I'm in a workout funk.

I used to love training, pushing myself to such crazy limits where I'm left almost puking on the side or about to crash for a post training recovery nap.  Juggling being an entrepreneur and that of a pro athlete has been a battle and I think me as an entrepreneur has been taking over.

Here's to hoping the Philippines gets the hardcore athlete in me back!!!

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