It's been months since I've been to church, the longest time span e-v-e-r in my life.
I grew up in the church, pretty much. My mom was once the church secretary, my dad was on the church board and was an usher, my oldest brother taught Sunday School, my other brother did the sound system, and I also did the sound system, taught Sunday School and worked the nursery.
Moving away to university, I only was a member at the church, not one that was overly active within the church. Then, when I moved to Korea, my involvement became even less. I showed up maybe 3 times a month out of the four Sunday services offered. It wasn't until I returned to Canada that I finally re-found my place at church -- Grant African Church. The pastor, whom I didn't know was actually the pastor, was a man whom I had met at System Fitness while weight training. He'd give me his usual big hug greeting and he'd always give me a solid word of motivation and inspiration. I then joined his church, found out he was one of the pastors, and I was quick to fall in love with it.
I love Grant African Church in Toronto, Canada.
They dance, they sing... oh and boy can they sing... they jump up and down, they clap, the pastor yells, people hug each other, and it's genuine. You feel so good being there because the people are real and they're really sweet. I can't stand those image-conscious churches that try to pretend everything is just so perfect; it's all peaches and cream, rainbows and unicorns. At Grant, they're not like that. They're honest, they're open and they're just so incredibly real with everything and that's where the attraction is. They're real people trying to find their way and trying to honestly help each other out.
I've been struggling with finding a church to call home here. I find too many of them just try to hard -- try to hard to be picture-perfect, try to hard to be modern, try to hard to be more like a show and less than a place to learn and to be vulnerable.
I want to feel comfortable being real and being vulnerable at church.
I don't have any crazy issues but I don't care to pretend to be happy all the time or be something that I'm not. And, quite frankly, churches that spend so much money on being showy annoy me. I know the church is a business like any other but it's more importantly a place of worship and growth. I don't need all the fancy lights and blasting music to make that happen. Give me the old school church with the wooden pews and hymns. Save that money for those who need it instead of using it to lure people to come to church with being all fancy.
Today I tried on yet another church, to see if it fit me.
I'll admit I was quick to write it off and judge it because it was in the most luxurious member-only club around -- the Manila House. The building oozed with money and I knew how much members paid to be a part of it so I felt uncomfortable. I then heard about why the church was located there and then everything changed for me. Turns out it has nothing to do with money and instead is out of the goodness of one of the owner's heart. I like that.
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