I was already having a hard enough of a day when I showed up for boxing around noon. I slipped into my gear, warmed up and then stepped into the ring for padwork with Coach Marcelo.
BOOM!!! What was that?!
It was my wrist, feeling like the bones were jamming up against each other.
Not good.
My wrist is pretty messed up from Wednesday's gloves... last Wednesday, when I borrowed someone's old gloves. Now in her defence, she had disguarded them and got new ones but her old ones should have been thrown away. It takes me an hour to get to my boxing club and after a full morning of coaching clients, I wasn't about to travel all the way there with all my coaching and training gear and not train. I shouldn't have used her old gloves. Instead, I should have either insisted on borrowing someone else's or written it off as a hard lesson learnt. But I'm stubborn; am as stubborn as us Polacks get.
Returned home feeling super frustrated about training -- not being able to hit the bag or even so much as the speed bag.
My delivery from Lazada showed up, a secret lock book that was already messed up when I opened it. I messaged the supplier, told them that the book opens but the lock code has somehow been set, and you know what he wrote back... "Oops... then you have to try your luck one by one from 000 to 999 in order to get the 'forgotten code' back... lol". Holy, talk about a jerkhead response, especially considering I didn't forget the code, they hadn't set it up correctly in the first place. Dang it. So yeah, that only added to my frustrations today.
Then I hit the wall.... not literally, just figuratively.
The best analogy I can use to explain how I feel about my hustle as an entrepreneur is to compare it to a relay race. It doesn't matter how much I hustle or how fast I go, once that baton is passed to the next person, in my case that'd be someone like my manufacturer, then it's out of my hands and I have to rely on them to hustle. I've passed the baton to too many people that are coasting, jogging slow, or borderline walking. Here I am sprinting my heart out and working at my max -- max effort -- and they're not. But there's nothing I can do to push them because to do so makes me come across as pushy and aggressive.
I feel like whether I try my damn hardest or don't try at all, the result is the same... I'm dependent on others. And that drives me completely bonkers because I thought one of the perks of working for yourself is not having to work with other people and being able to call the shots. That's totally not the reality of it though and today that hit me like a ton of bricks.
Today, I really embraced the suck as an entrepreneur.
I'm waiting for a manufacturer to get back to me about their prices.
I'm waiting for another manufacturer to get back to me about my new design.
I'm waiting on a possible new design team to sit down with me regarding my clothing line.
I'm waiting for a corporate client to pay me what's now well over 3 months due to me.
I'm waiting for a possible investor to make a decision.
I'm waiting for a possible client to make a decision regarding their training.
I'm waiting for a sponsor to get back to me regarding their proposed contract.
I'm waiting for a collab to give me some set dates.
I'm waiting for another collab to finalize my proposed dates.
I'm waiting for a possible corporate client to give me the go-ahead.
I'm hustling and now I'm waiting. I should mention here that patience is NOT my thing!!!
I sprinted all out, passed the baton, and now it's in their hands.
Skittles allowed me to embrace it till about 8pm and then he pretty much dragged me out of the condo. I needed to get fresh air, I know, but I was in such a funk. I seriously just wanted to sleep and see if anything gets done without my hustle because honestly I feel like despite me hustling, nothing is getting done. So why even try?! Whether I try or don't try, I feel like I'll still be in the same spot.
Finally agreed to get out of the house. I picked up a little birthday gift for one of my clients and then ate a cheeseburger practically the size of my head. It felt good to get out and just leave all that stress on the table, to not do anything about it, but I knew returning home that it will still be there for me. If not today than definitely tomorrow.
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