Highlights of my Day... Tuesday, February 17

1. I couldn't really sleep last night, it was like Christmas all over again, minus the cheery good feeling that comes with knowing there's presents, cabbage rolls, and whatnot. This was like a nightmare version of Christmas. I had tossed and turned in my bedding and had the strangest of dreams. In my dream I was fighting but had noticed that I put my boxing shorts on backwards and so they all laughed as I stopped the fight to take them off and fix them.

2. I barely stomached my breakfast and so trying to eat anything else prior to my fight was out of the question. Q tried to make me eat a chocolate bar but I ended up spitting it out. I've never been so overwhelmed with such conflicting emotions. I was happy, ecstatic, nervous, scared, but proud. I knew that no matter what, win or lose, I had already won in that I was about to do what so many people wouldn't even have the balls, so to speak, to do.

3. When we arrived at the arena, we scrambled to find a place for us to get busy gearing up and prepping for the fight. Another boxer from my club was fighting today and so his wife and kids came along. Together we sat behind a curtain on stage, waiting for our fight to be called. Unlike him however, my fight was on stand-by, which meant they didn't know when they were going to slot me in. .. dang KBS. Junior Mint was a bit annoyed at this, as was I, because it meant that if I was too down the list than my fight wouldn't appear on TV. And, as fate would have it, I ended up being last on the list. Had MBC Sports been covering the fights, I definitely would have got a lot of air time, considering the agreement I have with them. But today, it was KBS running the show.

4. I tried to stay focus and keep to myself prior to my game but coach had me situated in the corner of the stage and so I kept peering out. I had such a perfect view of the fights from there. I ended up chatting a bit with some of the guys watching the fights. One even asked to take a picture with me, that was cool. I made him literally pinky-swear to me that he'd cheer loud for me when it was my fight.

5. It's crazy... I'm convinced. I'm convinced you have to be a bit nuts to willingly go in front of a massive crowd and let some other athlete beat on you! At one point I turned to Q and asked, "What's wrong with me? Why do I love this stuff?!" Seriously though, it's a love hate relationship that I'll never fully understand. I mean, there I was, nervously sweating it out, feeling like I wanted to both run away from the ring and jump into it at the same time! I told Q, "I just want to fight... I don't care what the answer to the fight is." I knew I was already going against numerous odds.... this being Korea, my opponent having way more experience and plenty of wins, I assumed the crowd were all leaning towards my opponent... etc. I assumed I was the underdog.

6. There were two other foreign girls who fought before me and both got smoked. Then I watched in horror as the guy from my club got the snot knocked out of him in the second round. Second round KO... brutal. I instantly shed my face from the sight of his hands being tossed up into the air and I covered my ears so that I couldn't hear him crash unto the ring floor. "I'll show them... I can do this" I kept on telling myself.

7. Finally my time came. Before we approached the ring, I turned to Q and told him that no matter what the outcome of the fight was, I needed him to tell me after that he's proud of me. "Don't leave me alone after!" I added. Then I followed Q and together we stepped up into the ring. "This is it" I told myself, "... this is what I've wanted". As Q stepped out of the ring I turned and looked at him and Junior Mint. "I love you guys!" I told them. Junior Mint responded with "I love you too" and then it was game on.

8. At one point in the game I got called for holding and so that ticked me off considering what else had been going on at that moment. We had kind of exchanged a couple of nasty words. In my frustration, I lost a bit of my focus and bit down hard on my mouth guard. I don't remember much of the fight except for the fact that I kept on trying to push her into the corner so that I could drill her. It went so fast and after the forth round I went back to my corner. Q eagerly picked me up and spun me around. He was so sure I had won. I, on the other hand, knew I had messed up by repeatedly dropping my left guard and wasn't sure of a win but felt I had given it my all.

9. My game ended in a tie and my opponent's coach insisted that I keep the trophy. It wasn't until later, when the show was over and the crowd had died down that I was approached by many who insisted that I was the real winner. It felt awesome hearing their words and it made me feel all that more eager to jump back into training and prepare for another fight. On the way home I watched my fight on my camera. I wasn't so much watching it as I was listening to those in the background, those cheering for me. Q and Junior Mint had been yelling their heads off but I could make out a couple of key guys in the background repeatedly yelling out my name and encouraging me. I'll never forget that because here I always thought I was fighting alone. Junior Mint and Q were so proud of me and so all the way home they kept on throwing me smiles and winks in the car. I couldn't wait to get back to the club though. I wanted nothing more than to put my trophy in the club window and have it sit beside the many trophies Black Skinny and Panty Boy have won. Tomorrow's morning sun would come shine down on it, my teammates would see it, and it'd always be there to remind me to never give up. And to think, almost a year ago today this very same situation, a fight, was what had shattered my heart and yet here I am today, a totally different fighter.

10. Before I made my way home though and showered, Junior Mint insisted that I head out for dinner. Turns out a couple of the guys were waiting to celebrate with me. Unfortunately, regardless of how hungry I was, I couldn't really open my jaw. I had bit down too hard and for too long on my mouth guard during the fight and now was struggling to laugh... hahaha. I did however manage to eat ice cream later on... but then again, it was ice cream and there are always exceptions made for ice cream!!!

QUESTION OF THE DAY...
Why do we continually like to scare ourselves... scary movies, roller coasters..?

QUOTE OF THE DAY...
Don't be discouraged. It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.
-- Author Unknown