Visited one of my sisters-in-law and my mother-in-law tonight which was nice but it always makes me miss Snickers all that much more. I didn’t think it possible to miss him more but tonight when I went to their house I ran into my other sister-in-law and her twins who I haven’t seen since Snickers left, so I was bombarded with questions about how I am doing without him. I am doing okay, most days, but the way people ask and talk to me about him is almost as if he has died, and that’s where I am not okay. They look at me with pity and so I almost feel guilty admitting that I have been enjoying my days. I enjoy being the sole person responsible for running all my errands, managing the house, and getting myself to and from work. I enjoy being able to up the focus on my training, both running and boxing, and I enjoy having nothing more on my plate beyond tutoring and training.

Of course, life with Snickers here is so much better, that’s beyond obvious, but my point is that I am okay. I can’t change the fact that he’s not here and dwelling on it will only drive me mental. Instead of people throwing me their oh-so-not-needed pity parties, it’d be nice if they just continued on with me as if Snickers were here. After all, as cliché as this sounds, he is here. He is in everything around me and he is in all I do. He’s that little voice in my head that tells me to slow down when driving. He’s in the love post-it notes splattered on my wall. He’s there telling me to get up and go run when I rather not, and he’s there reminding me to do my stretching. He’s in the most simple acts, in all that constructs my day, and he’s in my prayers when I lay down to sleep.

Visiting my in-laws reminds me how much he is loved by his family and so it makes me feel proud but it is followed by immediate heartbreak on my way home, knowing that I still have a long time to wait for him to return.

Today it was the twins who got me all choked up. I decided to jump in the bathroom while they were splashing around in the tub. Hyun Jun looked up at me with a face full of soap suds and asked me if I was sad Snickers wasn’t here. I didn’t know what to say. My sister-in-law told me that he’s cried a couple of times because he misses his Uncle Snickers. I didn’t want him to feel bad so I told him that I was okay because Snickers had promised to catch me a big fish in Japan --- like come on, what was I really going to tell the little mini Korean?!

I tried to snap a shot of the twins before they proudly pranced around naked and splashed in the bathtub but getting them to stay still for a photo is like asking the impossible.

Not too sure what this is all about but since Snickers has left, every time I visit my in-laws they always send me home with an envelope full of money. My sister-in-law brought one to the hospital too. They told me it was a kind of “allowance” and I tried to insist they don’t give it to me. I felt rather uncomfortable taking their money.

The highlight of my visit tonight was getting to meet my sister-in-law’s boyfriend. Today had been a really important day for him because he met my father-in-law for the first time. He looks nothing like I had anticipated him to look like and, strangely enough, he looks just like my other sister-in-law’s husband – tall, dark and cute. I wouldn’t call him handsome. He’s surely good-looking but he’s got this kind of boyish look to him and boyish manner. Anyways, I was relieved to see that my sister-in-law wasn’t dating some skinny Korean guy who wears skinny jeans (which I should note here that skinny jeans should never be made in men’s sizes… leave them for the ladies, thanks) to which I once told her that if she was I’d have to slap her… hahaha.

QUESTION OF THE DAY...
How many unnecessary worries do you worry about?

QUOTE OF THE DAY...
Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.
-- Benjamin Franklin