Am pretty convinced that if I never meet anyone else outside of my boxing club then that will be perfectly fine with me because the people walking into my club have been pretty awesome. Today we had an exceptionally awesome wave of new members walk into the club. Sure I'm not paid to be friends with members but it surely helps that I think our members are pretty cool.
Snickers still teases me every once in awhile, telling me that I need to get out more, socialize, and one of sponsors mentioned that perhaps I should try harder to meet more of "my people". Snickers instantly gave one of those oh-you-shouldn't-have-said-that faces, you know the face with the frowned eyebrows and squinted mouth. Of course, knowing me, I asked him what he meant by "my people".
"My people", as defined by a minor sponsor, is anyone that is white and from an English-speaking country.
Problem with that definition?! Umm... hell ya.
ME: I know more non-white in Canada than white. Hello Toronto, holy multiculturalism!
HIM: OK, so any colour of skin from any western country.
ME: But English is an English-speaking country but half the time I don't understand their slang.
HIM: OK, then no English people. You are beside America.
ME: ...Korea is beside Japan, so then Japanese are your people.
HIM: [scratching head]... OK, so let's just say just Canadians.
ME: But I'm Polish/Canadian.
HIM: Ya, you have problem.
Nice, "you have problem", as if I didn't already know him trying to define "my people" would spark many.
There's this whole misconception that many Koreans have that because I'm a foreigner and they're a foreigner that we must be friends. Likewise, many foreigners think this too but the brutal fact of the matter is if I wouldn't naturally hangout with you in Canada then I'm not going to here in Korea. But I will be nice to you and say hi if you say hi to me. I'm not a snob and I think that's a huge thing that has changed, especially here in Cheonan. When I first arrived here in Korea, 10 years ago now, foreigners used to say hi to each other even if they had never met. It was kind of like a common bond we had, us both not originating from this country, but now too often I feel somewhat punked off by random foreigners, especially downtown.
My people are not exactly the foreigners and often I feel more of a foreigner to the foreigners than my Korean friends. See my very general diagram below on what narrows down and decreases my common connections with fellow expats. I could have elaborated into more detail, like adding that being married to a Korean man as a foreign woman as opposed to a Korean woman as a foreign man further separates me as more Western men than Western women marry here, but I didn't. Other factors at play could include the fact I live in a smaller city and that my business is in a field that is not exactly socially acceptable for us females.
I'm not from Korea, I'm a foreigner, but I definitely feel more of a pull towards the Koreans. I don't relate with my fellow expats here for so many reasons, beyond just not being in the teaching field. I live a life that is so different from the temporary one so many seem to live here. I mean no disrespect in saying that and sometimes I envy them for it but I know my life is so different. I've got a Korean husband, attached with some very Korean in-laws, a Korean business that is very grounded in both the Korean boxing community and Cheonan community. I have Korean friends who don't speak English and, honestly, many who really like foreigners (apparently they don't view me as a foreigner). My social life and business life just seem polar opposite of so many expats.
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