Work was great today but the morning wasn't. I don't work mornings and no that wasn't why the morning was flat out rotten and rough. I haven't had a rough morning like today for a very long, long time and I don't want to experience a morning like today ever. It wasn't actually rough when I woke up, it was actually quite pleasant. I woke up to my man and my four-legged friends all still very much in La-La Land. I slipped out of the bedroom, prepared my morning coffee and grabbed my overnight oatmeal breakfast I had prepped yesterday. I was half way through my breakfast when suddenly we all were startled by Snickers' phone ringing. It was someone close to us. They were yelling and screaming on the phone, and Snickers somehow managed to decipher what it was they were saying.
I really can't get into the details of why, how and what happened but someone close to both of us tried to commit suicide this morning but someone else, someone even closer to us than the first person, not only discovered them but also saved their life. They called us to ask us how to save them.
This particular person is in a coma now but I don't feel sorry for them.
I know most people would and could but if they knew the full story they probably wouldn't either and that's not me being cold or cruel. Cold and cruel was someone asking "why did you rescue them?" It was a question that I know some of us thought of but would never ask nor thought even appropriate to think. We are not God. We don't get to pick and chose who dies despite the hurt people can cause, the hurt this person caused us all, and despite people's desire to inappropriately tempt fate and God.
The truth always comes out; it's a fact of life. There's no point in holding secrets and lying -- the two go hand-in-hand. You can't have one without the other. You more often than not need lies to cover the secrets so consequently one lie leads to more lies, it's inevitable. If you just tell the truth from the start then you don't have to back track or keep track of your lies. We don't all live honestly though and some people just foster one too many secrets and lies for my liking. Secrets are meant for surprise birthday parties and wedding proposals and I for one don't like surprise parties.
If not so long ago this particular person asked us all to forgive them and accept them for the web of lies they created, dating over a year ago, and the damage they did then they can accept the fact that I and many others no longer accept them. I think our request is more appropriate than the rather absurd request they made for us to forgive, forget and move on. A mistake is a mistake if you're sorry and don't consciously do it again. But to continue to do it and then try to make right what you've done wrong with another conscious wrong is, well, that's not being sorry. That's rather a revealing of who you are, your character, and what kind of person you are. We're not in science class. Two negatives don't make a positive. My father would tell me to forgive this person but how can you forgive if you can't forget. How far wrong can someone go before you just can't bring yourself to ever forgive them? For me, today that point was so clearly established.
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