Too Much to Give but Gonna Give Nothing... Friday, March 1

I have very high expectations for myself, perhaps too high at times.  I try really hard to constantly better myself so I'm always latching on to various mottoes to remind myself and to keep focused. 

When it comes to training hard -- "Hard time now, easy time later."

... eating clean -- "You can't out-train a bad diet." 

... friends -- "People inspire you or drain you, pick wisely." 

... people -- "A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep."

... work -- "Work for a cause, not for applause." 

... life -- "I have a dream, and being average was never it."

... love -- "You get the love you give."

... relationships -- "You can pick who you date but you can't pick who you fall in love with."

... money -- "I refuse to let money direct me."

... happiness -- "Happiness happens by choice not by chance."

... stress -- "There's nothing a scoop of peanut butter can't fix."

... past -- "Let your past make you better not bitter."

... present -- "Be better than you were yesterday."

... future -- "When nothing is sure, everything is possible."

 I train hard, eat clean, love passionately, my business is my pleasure, and my pleasure is my business.

Mottoes are my thing, I love them, but I also love lists!  I am notoriously known for my lists -- lists reminding me to do this, don't forget that, email this person, and pick up that.  I have lists to make lists -- my lists have lists!  Buy me a book with lists to fill in and my eyes will pop out of my head and I'll be entertained for hours.  Just recently I bought a book called "Six-Week Start-Up".  It's a business book written by an entrepreneur and in it there are about 70 list-like worksheets... I LOVE IT!!!  I love it so much that the other day when I ran out to go meet up with some friends, it wasn't until I reached the corner light that I had noticed I had taken it with me... hahaha.  

My mottoes and lists are definitely a huge influential part of my life.  They keep me organized, motivated, focused but also very driven towards improving myself and what I'm doing.  Consequently, because of me opening up a boxing club, my expectations for myself have really heightened.  I'm totally new to the wonderful world of being an entrepreneur so my lists of lists has lengthened and I've been grasping onto new mottoes daily like they're my daily bread.

As a result of having an increase in personal expectations, I have started to see just how much this has seeped into my expectations of others in my life -- my friends, family, Flipside Fitness Femizons, clients, business contacts, sponsors -- and perhaps that's why I've been so frustrated lately.  I've been giving it my all and in doing so I can see myself getting a bit easily agitated with others.  This is one of those times when the saying "it's not you it's me" definitely is true.  

In addition to slaving away at the details of our soon-to-be boxing club, I'm also running numerous Flipside Fitness events: 

Pretty in Pink -- A Welcoming Party

ROBO Time 

Shopping for Abs 

Annual Glam Girls Night Out -- A White Day Celebration

Boost Your Run -- 2013 Adidas MBC Hagang Marathon

If it were even possible for a person to give over 100%, that'd be me.  Perhaps I'm taking on more than I can chew but I think not.  I like the challenge of juggling it all but it does consume me sometimes.  With regards to our boxing club, I can deal with the pressure of putting myself and Snickers in total head-over-heels debt for the next year or so, continuing business meeting-after-business meeting in only Korean, pulling 20hr days slaving over prep work, and I even quite enjoy picking the brains of others and straining my own brain, but in piling up all these pressures on myself and filling up my whole plate with things to do, I'm definitely raising the expectation bar.  

I think in making my expectations so high for myself I've been unconsciously raising the bar of what I expect from others too, I now feel that.  Things that once rolled off my shoulders now get under my skin and annoy me.  The other day I found myself almost in tears when I started complaining to Snickers about the continual no-show or last minute cancellations for my Flipside Fitness events.  "Not everyone cares about things you care about" he told me.  He was right but it was a harsh reality and it was a kind of wake-up call for me to ease up a bit.  I've become so tightly wound up these days, expecting so much. 

Having said this, I've decided to go on a vacation from the Internet and cell phone.  Starting Sunday evening my cell phone and Internet will be turned off and disconnected.  I need to really focus in on my boxing club and not let the distractions of others get to me.  I need to relax, clear my head and just focus on what I have to do.  

My brother used to tell me, "Expect nothing from people and accept everything above it as bonus".  I don't want to expect nothing but I definitely have to redefine the level that it is I expect.  I expect a lot, I know, but I also know I give a lot.  Perhaps I give too much, I don't know.  All I know is that this week I am going to give nothing.