Your Beauty isn't My Beauty... Monday, September 16

Beauty isn't universal, I was quick to realize that the first day I wore a tank top in Korea.

When I first came to Korea, over 9 years ago now, I was quick to also learn that it's ironically very socially acceptable to wear short shorts year round -- yes, even in the dead of winter during a snow storm -- but wear a tank top in the dead heat of summer?!  You crazy?!  Times are definitely changing but I'll never forget that first summer I wore a tank top and stood at the downtown lights, waiting for the cross symbol to flash.  What appeared to be a flash mob of ajjumas (older Korean women) suddenly appeared and two of them began to stroke my tank top-wearing bare arms.  

My comfort zone has always been the gym and boxing club and up until two summers ago was it only there were I wore my tank tops.  Returning home from boxing at the club in the dead of summer meant throwing on a jacket over my shoulders or throwing on a light long sleeve.

I landed in Korea as a fitness gal, very actively involved in bodybuilding and all about weight training.  I was thick around the waist, full in the tush, and sported a 32DD chest and arms bigger than some of the guys my age.  Nine years later and now I stand in Korea as a professional boxer, no more an aspiring petite bodybuilder, with a thinner waist, a 30B chest and arms and legs that are about half the size they were when I first arrived.  I'm still considered "big" by some of my Korean friends, one of which who noted to me she didn't let me borrow a sweater because she thought my arms would stretch out her shirt.  I didn't know whether to be insulted or flattered.

My Korean friends are always quick to note that I don't look typically foreign, and by that they mean I'm not tall with broad shoulders and a thicker build -- I don't look American or Canadian.  "It's because I'm not Canadian or American", I tell them, "I'm Polish/Canadian with a dose of Austrian".  My look, as in style of clothing, make-up, etc, hasn't Koreanized too much with the exception of the fact that yes I do wear high heels whenever I'm not wearing my boxing boots or out running and yes, even when I'm grocery shopping.

So what is beautiful, in terms of physical?  Of course it's all in the eye of the beholder  and it's more than just skin deep but it's very interesting to see what Korea views as physical attractiveness with what I've come to label it as referring to.  While many Koreans bleach their face to get that porcelein skin and strive to be very skinny, if this is what Korea views as beautiful than I want to be ugly.  I don't think it's natural to have super pale skin because anyone who goes outside it bound to get sun-kissed and I find it disturbing that you can never really be too skinny in Korea.  Don't get me wrong, I think many Korean women are beautiful but it's not the typical so-called pretty Korean female I find physically beautiful. I've always thought a women with tone and definition to her body is beautiful -- someone who clearly looks after her body via exercising and eating healthy.  

I've been training this one particular university student, let's call her Minnie.  I remember the first day I met Minnie; she came to the club with her boyfriend.  I weighed her in, took her measurements and when she went to go change into training clothes, he boyfriend turned to me and asked me how much she weighed.  "That's for her to know and you not to ask" was my response.  "Ok" he responded with, "just please make sure she losses weight".  And with that I wanted to slap him and tell him that he's probably got the best bodied Korean girlfriend to have ever walked into my boxing club.  She's by no means overweight and yes, though she's a bit "thicker", she's got curves on her body, very womanly curves, that I'd love for her to use to kick him to the curb if he's got comments like that to fire out about his girlfriend.  

Snickers and I clearly had different definitions of what it means to be physically beautiful.

The other day I put on a pair of jeans and noted that they had shrunk -- a friend throwing them in her drier was to blame.  When I asked him if they looked too tight on me, because you know that's a loaded, dangerous question to ask, he responded by saying, "You're not a model or Korean".  I didn't really know what that meant -- did that mean anyone who isn't a model or Korean won't look good in jeans -- so I blurted out, "Ya, like either of those two could pack a back like me".  He had absolutely no idea what I was talking about so that was that.

What I am aspiring to be, physically speaking that is, isn't what Snickers particularly sees as beautiful.  I don't want to be particularly ripped or sporting scarey-sized muscle but I don't want to be skinny and slim.