Sheep are Only Good for Making Coats Out of... Friday, October 25

A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the thoughts of sheep -- this quote has always stuck with me.

 

My Korean culture professor in university called me a tiger once, for enrolling in Korean culture classes that were clearly bombarded by Asians and left me getting weekly stares.  I was the platinum blond Polish girl who sat smack dab in the middle with my 1 liter carton of milk and large Italian prosciutto sandwich, extra meat.  My former Canadian boxing coach called me a tiger once, when I stepped into the ring for the first time for a quick sparring session with a male sparring partner.  With only a few members there watching, I felt like a million eyes were watching me so I was so nervous.  Junior Mint, my former Korean boxing coach, called me a tiger when we were on the KTX going to my professional boxing license bout.  I had been listening to a remix of The Eye of the Tiger over and over, for about an hour, when he asked to listen to it with me.  "Amy tiger!" he looked at me and said.  I often joke about the sweat lines on my training sweater as being my tiger stripes but I'm no tiger, only striving to be one -- strong and fearless. 

 

It was a bad day today, quite possibly the worst I've had since the day our boxing club's intial building location committee rejected our proposal to set up our boxing club there. 

 

Today was the third year anniversary of my Korean grandfather's death -- Snickers' Grandpa-Kim -- but I wasn't able to attend the ceremony out in Buyeo.  I had forgotten to give our members any kind of notice of us being closed so I went in to manage the club while Snickers headed out alone for the ceremony with his family.  That was fine, not really but it had to be.  It was another yearly ceremony I had missed though and I felt terrible for missing it.  Grandpa-K was the only grandfather I've ever had and though he was only my grandfather through marriage, I loved him.  I loved him because he loved Snickers so much.  Snickers was his favourite and he always went to his boxing bouts so I loved him because out of everyone in Snickers' family, he believed in Snickers unconditionally and with such admiration. 

 

So I worked alone today but when I arrived at the boxing club one of the front doors was unlocked and open.  Instantly I dropped my bags and groceries and got defensive.  I put my keys in between my fingers and with clinched fists I cautiously walked into Hulk's.  I wasn't sure if we had been broken into or not and I wasn't sure what I'd be confronted with when I walked in.  Ended up locking the front door, to make sure if someone was in the club they'd now be locked in with me, and then I searched the club high and low.  I even went so far as to search the other floors of the building, a move many of my friends know just how completely uncomfortable I am doing so!

 

I found no one.

 

As it turns out, a couple of delivery men showed up before opening and Secom Security showed up to unlock the door, turn off the alarm, and let them in.  Would have been nice if someone would have told me before I almost gave myself a heart attack searching out the entire building like an animal on the prowl!!!

 

After my heart beat returned to normal, it was then my blood pressure that was quickly elevating when I had to confront some pesky parkers in our parking lot.  I had a total of six car owners to call.  Two of them had no phone number on their dash so I took it upon myself to tape the heck out of some no parking signs I had printed off.  Three car owners returned promptly to their cars, to which I sarcastically asked them what part of the five foot Korean no parking sign they didn't understand, but one car owner returned and decided to stir up trouble by spitting on my shoe.   I was so disgusted.  I wasn't rude to him at all.  I had simply called him and said he had to move his car because the parking lot is for our club members only. 

 

"Listen, not only are you going to move your car but you're also going to clean my shoe!" I insisted.

 

A simple "I'm sorry" would have made me drop the whole situation but instead he got quite lipy with me.  Anyone who knows me knows I'm not one to easily back down and, if anything, I'll be all that more in your face just to prove I'm not weak.  It wasn't me though who got all close up, it was him.  When he stepped towards me and was but a few inches from my face, some of the local shop owners who had taken notice of the situation came out to watch.  I stood my ground.

 

"I don't have a tissue" was his response.  "Then you better go to the store and buy one" I told him and that's exactly what he did, only after much more arguing that is.  When he returned, he asked me for my shoe and I refused to take it off.  I told him that I shouldn't have to inconvenient myself by placing my naked foot on the ground when it was him that spat on it.  He bent down, cleaned my shoe, and for a second (ok, more seconds than I'd like to admit to) I thought about kneeing him in the head.  I didn't but trust me, it took every ounce of self control to hold my foot down on the ground. 

 

Time now, only 3pm.

 

At 3:22pm I recieved a particular email.  A steady stream of emails then started to fill my Facebook inbox shortly after it and text messages starting sending my cell phone in psycho mode.  What I initially thought were people responding to my Facebook status update turned out to be them mistaking my update as being connected to some random silly article written about me in a Facebook group I had never even heard about.  It's the ongoing comments that did the damage today, ironically enough.

 

There's a lot of unhappy, ignorant people out there, out here apparently, in Cheonan, which only makes me feel all that more blessed to not be one of them or associated with them.  I used to feel sorry for them but now I feel disgust.  They are completely ignorant to what their comments have sparked and the truth of the matter is that they'll never really understand this.  In a couple of months, a year or so they too will leave Korea just like other foreigners before them have done and future foreigners will do after them.  They can't even begin to comprehend what stereotypes they've just helped to keep alive.  It's nice that they get to leave but I and other foreigners who have made Korea our home will have to now deal with the consequences of their ignorance. 

 

When wind of the article's comments got caught by a particular sponsor I've been working hard to win over, I was called at the club.  Tomorrow I now have a morning meeting with him and I suspect he's going to tell me he's no longer interested in extending his numerous connections to the foreign community.   I've been working on this potential sponsorship for the past few months.  Endless letters to him, meetings I've had to study Korean just to get through, and countless business/sponsorship proposal write-ups.  Continually checking into the Cheonan jail is not what I want to be doing with my spare time but I did it to further strengthen my stance on this proposal, to prove to them that I will do whatever it takes to win them over.  The sponsor proposal I initially sent him was for the Cheonan foreign community.  Various discounts and bonuses if they used the lenghty list of 10+ some businesses he is connected to.  I think today may mark the end of his interest in helping us foreigners out.  He referred to the foreigner community as "lacking a common respect" among "our people" and "being proudly destructive towards each other".   I could have argued that he was wrong but he was right and it was quite embarrassing to accept.

 

Never in the nine years that I have lived in Korea have I ever felt ashamed to be a foreigner but tonight I left the boxing club feeling exactly that.  I used to be uncomfortable feeling like a foreigner to the foreigners because I don't live the stereotypical foreigner's life in Korea and have Koreanized but "used to be" was the theme of the day for me.  It's not like Koreans aren't nasty to each other, I'm aware of that, but I kind of thought us foreigners being here would be greeted by support from each other.  Some of us have made Korea more of a home than others, sure, but it doesn't change the fact that we're pretty much still in the same boat.  I've been here for 9 years but I still miss my family and friends.  I still miss the convineces connected with living in a country that speaks the same language as my mother tongue and cringe at the cultural clashes of living in a country that's not originally my home country.  Hello, I'm a foreign female professional boxer that's married to a Korean, doesn't want kids and doesn't cook her husband's meals -- Korea has a hard time scooping that all up with its' chopsticks and digesting!  I'm not exactly living an easy life here.

I never thought that me being a business entreprenuer in a foreign country made me anything special among the foreigners but I never thought it'd ever become a mockery among them.  "I built a boxing club in a foreign country this year, what did you do?!"  Is that what they want to hear? Sorry, but that's not me.  I know my success but just as much as I'm aware of it I also know it's been brought about by all those who have invested and believed in me.  I will forever be grateful for my family, friends, sponsors, local and international businesses, the community, and so forth for collectively giving me the support to make my dream a reality, just like I will forever love Korea for giving me the platform to build it upon.   

 

My Facebook inbox continued to flood with messages, very positive messages, long after the day was done and I returned home to an encouraging note that had been slipped under my door.  I plan on sitting down tomorrow to personally respond to all 20+ private messages but tonight I had to plan for tomorrow's sponsor meeting.  The taste of disgust and shame lingered in my mouth as I sat starring at the computer screen, contimplating what to type for tomorrow's meeting.  I'm fully anticipating this potential sponsor to tell me bad news, I'm planning for that actually.  But in anticipating this I've decided to not disagree with him and to accept it.  He may not be 100% right in his disgust and accusations but I don't want to fight for something or someone I myself don't 100% believe in. 

 

A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the thoughts of sheep, I must have repeated this to myself a zillion-billion times today but damn those sheep, trying to block the road I'm traveling on.  They are mere fools if they can't see they're only but a silly obstacle.  If I could climb over Adidas, an international, multi-million dollar company, that said I would "have to ask them for help" because I "couldn't possibly build Korea's largest boxing club with out their help" than a pile of foreign bodies is really nothing! 

 

A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the thoughts of sheep but it'd sure be nice to kick a few of them off the Korean peninsula.