Don't Discriminate Against My Family... Wednesday, April 23

Leave it to me to yell out "I hate babies" in Korean at a busy restaurant during a family birthday celebration lunch.  Mama Kim had brought up the whole April Fool's Amy-is-pregnant joke and was going on about how upset she was, how disappointed she was.  You want to know what's disappointing, is everyone totally disregarding the simple fact that I was the joke -- ME.  The joke was about ME, not them, and ya well me yelling out I hate babies wasn't exactly the right thing to say or even correct for that matter, I just wanted them to stop talking.  I opened up my mouth and out jumped those words, and in Korean too.  I get it they're all upset, trust me I get it, but what they don't get is that it was ME who was the joke.  And you know what, I don't even really care that K-Gere started it, I'm totally not mad with him, it's the others who totally blew it up and made it this massive 'woo-is-me' situation -- a means of expressing their disappointment with me and how I don't meet their so-called expectations.  Like I need an additional reminder, seriously.  

[I don't hate babies, let me just clear that up, but I don't want one.]

Sometimes I ask my husband if he wish I were a Korean woman. It's not that I have anything against Korean woman but instead I ask him because I know his life would be so much different if I were.  It'd be so much easier for him, I honestly believe so.  His family's expectations would be met, cultural norms wouldn't be challenged or argued, a language barrier would be non existent, and the Kim family would continue on without any obstacles, disturbances or confrontations. 

I get it, Koreans get married and then have kids right away -- it's the cookie-cutter, factory-made life most of them live.  But I'm not Korean and I am by no means "normal".  And while Snickers' family has labelled me being "not normal", meaning I'm "difficult" and "stubborn", I happen to pride myself for wearing such labels.  It sure beats being "easy" and "submissive" -- two labels that scream "weak" to me.  I will never be a weak woman, so difficult and stubborn are definitely compliments.

I had the day off today but because of the family lunch it was quite a rough start to my day off.  I spent a good chunk of it laying on my bed with my four-legged babies, grumbling and kind of moping.  I was in a sour mood and I just couldn't shake it.  Consequently, I didn't even show up at 7pm as promised and as WOW and Snickers were expecting me to.  Instead, I ignored all calls and texts.  I stayed in bed the entire day, with my four-legged babies.  

Laying there looking at Balboa and Pac, I thought back to Mama Kim asking me why I didn't want to start my own family.  But I do have my own family -- Snickers, Pyen Chi, Balboa and Pacquiao.  "But they're dogs".  Yes, they're dogs, this is true, but it doesn't mean they're not family and that we don't love each other.  Yes, they're dogs, that's right and that's sad.  It's pretty sad when a four-legged dog understands what it means to love someone more than a two-legged family member does.  

Looking at Balboa sitting just inches from my face, I started to think about just how non judgemental a four-legged family member really is.  Balboa loves me regardless of whatever baggage I carry and perhaps he loves me more because I don't have a baby -- a two-legged baby -- because it means he gets more time with me.  He already has to share me with Pyen Chi and Pac, and of course Snickers too.   He really could care less if I show up for a meal with allergy-puffy eyes.  I could show up naked and sporting bedhead for all he cares.  He expects nothing of me beyond daily food and water, play time outside, and me letting him curl up in my arms under the covers at night.  Such an innocent, uncomplicated love.  So while Mama Kim continues on year four of pushing me to have a baby and many friends are having babies, I'm more than happy to be here, baby-less and true to what I want for me.  And while I know I should refrain from yelling out "I hate babies", next time I'll happily start bragging about the babies I do have.  I have 3 four-legged babies and they're awesome.  They are my family.  Families come in all shapes and sizes, as does my family.  I've got a four-legged baby who is bigger than many Koreans.  Don't hate and don't discriminate.