A win is a win and a loss is a loss or so it's treated by the stats, boxing fans and general public. But to the boxer and their manager, coach and those with the insider's scoop it is never ever that clean cut. No one but that boxer will ever know or appreciate the full story but there is always an attached story.
Each story is different. There are stories where the boxer goes against all odds, others deal with the advantages and disadvantages of each boxer, some benefit from the home advantage, while others include the "tuna fish" and "crocodile hunters", a price some pay for "insurance", the short-cuts or hard routes, and most involve a fight or fights outside of the ring. Each story involves either the good, the bad or the ugly politics each boxer with it's commissioning boxing organisation deal with and many include the demands and pressure of sponsors and managers. Whatever the story consists of, there is always a story unknown to most but it is these underlying parts that make up the foundation by which each boxer fights on and they can be the biggest fight for a boxer, bigger than the one they'll actually have in the ring.
Tonight my fight's foundation was pretty much as reliable and as solid as sand on the shoreline, inches from the tide -- not good at all. I had been fighting a bigger fight all week and tonight's actual fight felt more or less just an accessory piece. Only a select few knew what really went down with this fight and the "interesting" situations leading up to it.
I woke up at 8am today but didn't pick my head up from the bed until 9:12am when I decided I had to eat. I ate such a stereotypical western-style breakfast -- cereal and coffee. I don't even own cereal in Korea, beyond oatmeal that is, much less even eat cereal. But my choices for breakfast were eat their spicy kimchi, soup and ribs or eat cereal. It was granola cereal.
At 10am I returned to my private room and laid on the bed. There were 9 other people in the house -- the club manager, his wife and his son, the son's friend, Tommy-Toes, The Kid, the president of the boxing club, my Filipino coach, and the club's cook -- and while they talked the day away and did whatever, I plugged in my earphones and completely drowned them out with my music. For the first couple of hours I had pure butterflies and nervous nerves having a field day in my tummy, sending me numerous times to the bathroom, so I listened to an overdose of calm songs to relax me.
For the entire day, from 10am to 4pm, 6 hours, I laid on my bed and tried to get my head in the game while friends back home messaged me and suggested I forfeit the fight. I couldn't forfeit though, for reasons beyond just standing up for what is right. Instead, I laid on my bed and mapped out my game plan. I was going to let her throw the first punch, drop down and come back with a mean upper cut, hook to scare her. So what started off as a feeling of such anxiety and "what-the-hell-am-I-doing" nerves slowly but surely turned into confidence and excitement. The private 2pm meeting in my room -- just the club manager and I -- and what was revealed to me during it didn't even phase me like it would have the other day. My mind was so focused.
"I got this", I repetitively told myself. "Just trust in yourself" was Snickers' advice he told me after reiterating what he always reminds me in practice -- watch her shoulder, prepare for the second punch, keep your distance, and go wild with your hooks.
The first fight on tonight's card was a Thai boxer against a Russian boxer. The Russian boxer was in the same changing room as me so we all started chatting. I knew I wouldn't have any corner coach helping me out so I asked if they could, and thus Team Europe instantly took form. One of them shot video while the two others coached me in between rounds. I am so incredibly thankful for them. They were the only people in my corner.
In the second round, if I had had 10 more seconds I could have ended the fight. She was hanging on the ropes when suddenly the round bell went. She was saved by the bell. And in the third round I knocked my opponent down but she stood up before the count was over. After that round, in between rounds, the club manager came to my corner and told me I "have to end this fight". So, on that note, I went into the fifth round determined to end it then and there. And that's what happened. I knocked her down in that round and knocked her out. The ref gave her an unusually long count but it was clear, there was no way my opponent was getting up. I had done my job but it felt exactly like that -- a job. I thought a knock out would make me happy and make me proud but there's a weird feeling that comes with seeing someone laying on the floor because of you. At first I was happy and I turned to say "I love you" to the crowd but all I could think of when I took my gloves off was checking to see if she was ok. I knew I had hurt her pride and I wasn't proud of that. Pride is a big thing to me and I know all too well that it hurts when it's attacked. Moreover, I knew I hadn't fought my best; my feet were clumsy because of the extra padding of the muay thai floor that my feet sunk into and boots stuck to. My guard was down too many times and I was so incredibly preoccupied with just landing a knockout hook that I didn't really bother to try any of my overly practiced combos. I had video taped the fight but refused to watch it after. I knew I hadn't fought up to par with myself and I didn't need to rewatch it to know it.
I hugged my Team Europe teammates, thanked them for helping me, and then I basically got passed around the boxing club from fan to fan, shaking hands, recieving hugs and posing for pictures. Most of those present were Korean and so they loved the fact I could talk to them. They called me pretty and overly complemented me on my style in the ring and the style of my uniform. I was super sweaty and just wanted to call Snickers to tell him the news and send word back to my friends. My opponent had gotten me good with a hook in an earlier round but besides that I knew I was walking away from this fight injury-free.
There wasn't any real celebration. The other Korean boxers who had come with me won their fights too. And after it was done, we all ate together, went back to out house, and then we basically all went to our own rooms to relax, Kakao Talk message and post pics on Facebook. It wasn't until an hour or two later that the club president suggested we all check out the late night market so that's what we did. He ended up treating us all to fresh fruit juice slushies and only then did we really acknowledge our victories tonight via me making us all raise our fruit-filled plastic cups and give a cheer for a successful tournament.
No comments:
Post a Comment