I was told today first hand from someone that they unfriended me on Facebook because I post "too many things about my business".
My immediate response: "Well, if that's not the dumbest thing I've ever heard."
My actual response: "I've worked too damn hard to be humble instead of being proud of making my dream come true."
Do what you do apologetically because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
I'm sure my "friend", or I suppose you could call him my "unfriended-friend", meant no disrespect and honestly I wasn't insulted but I did think it was one of the dumbest thing I've heard because anyone who knows me knows I'm all about my boxing club and my boxing -- that's my life, that's my happiness -- and Facebook is about sharing your life. Ok, so I share a lot of my life but I love my life. I've got friends who are all about their baby and post everything from the expected baby pictures, like their baby smiling and family shots, to inappropriate things like telling me their kid took their first poop. Others bombard Facebook with pics of their cars or their most recent boy/girlfriend, and some of my friends always post about their pets. Hey I've even got a friend who posts pictures of pencil crayon art she enjoys and so be it, good for her for wanting to share what she enjoys. On Facebook, I've got a Hulk's group page for those in Korea who want to be kept up to date with Hulk's however I use my personal Facebook page to share my life with friends and family. My Facebook personal page is primarily for those who aren't in Korea but instead are in Canada and that's why I usually don't accept "friend invites" from people here in Cheonan, in Korea, that I don't personally know and like as an actual friend.
I don't care if you're the CEO of a multi-million dollar business, a school teacher, or a man playing the guitar on the side of the street, if you're happy doing what you're doing than total mad props to you because most aren't. Be happy, be as happy as you want to be, because happiness is a CHOICE and you've made that choice. Good for you. Don't muffle your happiness or downplay it because some around you don't like it. Change who you surround yourself with then. Their unhappiness with your happiness is not your problem -- it is their problem.
Many people don't want to hear you when you're down, they'll call you annoying and a drag, but there are many who don't want to hear you when you're up either, they'll call you cocky and spoiled. You can't please everyone, as they say. And this brings up the idea of envy -- you have something they don't and people who simply can't be happy for you are as such because they are not happy with them self. Unhappy people don't want to see happy people being happy, it's as silly sounding as it is simply true. I know many of these people and perhaps the biggest downfall I have personally experienced with becoming increasingly happier with my own life is that the happier I get the more unhappy people in my life are revealed. It's like when we started preparing for our boxing club. We went through some really hard times, let me tell you, times where I cried myself to sleep or had to seriously check if it was worth it. There were weeks when we wore the same clothes because we honestly couldn't afford the house water bill. We didn't tell people though. I didn't want to be some charity case and I didn't want people to feel sorry for us because I was proud -- the struggles are part of the story and I knew this and tried to be proud of each struggle we overcame. So it was either pay the water bill or continue to feed the construction, so we fed the construction and the water got turned off. Many people supported us with their words, their extra help and with things as simple as a coffee or a smile. But I think many also thought we could never pull it all off and I question who among them were waiting and wanting to see us fail.
Hard times reveal many things but I argue good times reveal just as much, perhaps even more. You know, there are people in this city who have labelled me their "friend" and have yet to still visit my club. Now I am well aware that my club isn't important to most and I am not expecting or asking it to be but I am also well aware that so many know I have put absolutely everything I have into it -- my blood, sweat and tears, my mind, body and soul. This is my dream. So to call me a friend but not even have the decency to visit the very project that has consumed everything and anything of mine for the past +2 years, wow, you're really not much of a friend then in my books. Call me rude for saying that but I strongly believe that.
I am passionate about all that I do and the proof is in the extremes at which I do things. Consequently, I don't care for mediocre people who lack passion and drive; I find myself wanting to take them on as sideline, mini project to spruce up. I didn't get my life by sitting around and wishing. I got it by doing, by being proactive. Did I think I could build a $110,000 dollar club with the mere $30,000 I initially had? No, but I wasn't going to let that stop me because I had a dream, a vision -- I wanted to be happy. Now what I had seen for myself as happiness was perhaps a lot more extreme than the average person, I get that, but my point here is that you've got to find what happiness is to you and go after it. For my youngest brother, it meant getting up one day and running away to New York to follow a career in freelance photography but for my oldest brother it was buying a home way out in the sticks of Canada and starting a family. He still works at the same job I used to do with him back when I was in university. Does that mean my oldest brother is any less successful or happy than my young brother who lives in the big city and has the fame and fortune? Well, it really depends on what you consider happiness to be. There's people who could argue for both sides. The point here though is that each has defined what happiness is and went after it.
Life is all about creating your own happiness, whatever it may be for you. And what may be happiness for one may not be for another and that is perfectly ok. What's not ok though is people trying to stamp out the happiness of others. I think that those who do this do it out of the unhappiness they have with their own life, as I mentioned above. Back in the day my mother used to work downtown at city hall. She wore her fancy skirts, always had her hair perfectly done and make-up set so beautifully. She made more than my father but then she quit it all so that she could be a stay-at-home mom and raise us three rug rats. And while most people thought she maybe had gone off the deep end with throwing away such a potential and high money-making career, my mother couldn't have been happier. With yesterday's pudding still in her hair, toys scattered around the house, the vacuum in one hand and a school event notice in the other, she was in her element. She absolutely loved being a stay-at-home mom because she had longed for the family she never had and she wanted to raise us herself. So props to my mom, she created her own happiness and it wasn't determined or defined by anyone but her.
My Facebook posts are pretty much about one of the following: my club, my training, my husband, my pups, or my food. These are the five things that my happiness and my love of life revolves around. My friends admire this, my family respects this, my sponsors love this, and anyone else who thinks negatively really about this doesn't matter to me. I know who I am, what I am about, and it was never a matter of me needing to ask for anyone's permission to be happy. Maybe the permission needing to be sought out here is whether or not I will associate myself with such people who belittle my happiness. No need to really ask though, I can already tell you the answer is no.
Re-reading all that I just wrote, I realize that I totally rambled on and vented but so be it. This IS my homepage and it is after all about MY life. This random person messaging me today really wasn't a big deal but then again it's not like he's really a good friend either. We talk whenever we run into each other, which hasn't been for some years now. I'm respectful of people's opinions and I know that just because they're different doesn't mean it's wrong, but I also know that life is meant to be enjoyed. I'm doing exactly that, enjoying my life, and if it's centered around my boxing and my club, then so be it. I am happy. I am happy and I happily share it with those I care about, on Facebook, because every single day I wish my family and friends were here to share my life with me. Posting updates, posting pictures and maintaining my homepage have been an incredible tool for me to connect with them all, a means of bridging the gap between where they are and where I am. So go ahead and press that "unfriend" button because any friend that can't be happy for my happiness really isn't a friend of mine.
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