Tell me "Just Buy" and I'll Seriously Kick You... Tuesday, December 16

...and just when I thought I was having it rough, I looked out our locked club doors at 1am and there sat some random middle aged woman curled up in the corner, leaning against the door.  This was the first time this had happened but it wasn't the first time we've had a run in with a random stranger like this.  I sometimes let a homeless man shower here.  

I melted one if our juice bar chairs today, totally by accident.  Wet clothes simply don't dry in frigged temperatures and I wanted to at least attempt to speed dry the sweater I was going to change into after my training.  So I put it on one of the juice bar chairs and pulled the chair towards the heater.  I contemplated if this would be a problem, I honestly did, but I figured there was no way the heat could damage such think plastic.

I was wrong.

Our bedroom electric blanket died on us on Sunday night, at roughly 3:30am.  I woke up to turn it up and noticed it was already at level 7 (max is 8) when we usually only sleep with it at 3.  RIP you stinky but warm hot pink blanket.  "Just go buy another one", someone told me.  Ya, great advice if only they weren't something like $100 and I didn't already have a million and one things to buy. 

K-Gere came to the club today and insisted Snickers turn on the heat because I was cold. Sure I was cold but that's ok.  I can either suck it up, keep moving or put on more layers.  "The heaters are for members only -- they're too expensive to run all the time", I told him.  Running those heaters only during certain hours costs enough, about $22 a day and that "day" is roughly only 7 hours.  He giggled and then said "just buy more gas if you need it".

"Needs over wants... needs over wants", I am always saying.

This ain't summer anymore.  This is December, the hardest month of the year for us due to the sudden sharp drop in the weather, the constant snow flurries, students taking time away so they can study for exams, and our office workers working overtime due to the end of the year crunch.  Once January comes around, it will be so much different.  We'll be greeted by students on holidays and those looking to jump start their new year resolutions.  But this isn't January yet, this is December.

I swear if anyone else with a comfy, predictable, steady paycheck tell me one more thing I should "just buy", I'm going to use their head as a speed bag and their body for a sandbag.  "Just buy", as if it's just so easy, as if money grew on trees...wow, hold up.  Sounded like my father there. 

"Just buy" some heaters... $3,000

"Just buy" more gas... $600 (a month)

"Just buy" a new boxing ring... $6,000

"Just buy" a better coal heater... $1,000

"Just buy" this, "just buy" that, "just buy" those, and "just buy" these....

"Just buy this" they say. OK, if it's so simple then why don't THEY buy it?! Oh, suddenly they don't want to make any suggestions, I understand.  If I had a dollar for every "just buy" that someone told me, I could actually just buy whatever it was I needed.  

I feel that people who have never ran a business before are incredibly ignorant to the seen and unseen price tags attached to doing so and thus should be cautioned to keep their mouths shut, seriously.  And while ignorance is definitely bliss in this case, there's no ignorance or blissfulness for the entrepreneur who is all too aware of all the price tags and is the one who actually has to deal with them.  We don't all have the comfort of predictable pay checks.  I might make crazy money this week and nothing next week, but that "crazy money" already is designated to certain bills.

I'm not stressed, I'm challenged...or at least that's what I tell myself.  I don't pity myself for my "challenges" nor do I wish for others to feel sorry for me.  I just wish people would stop picking out the "just buy" items and acting as if I don't already have a million and one zillion things to buy and one more thing is not a big deal.  Do I like sleeping in a cold bedroom where I can see my breath and I have to sleep fully under the blankets, head and all?  No, of course not.  But if it were as easy as just buying something than I would.  You need money to buy things and right now our needs get prioritized and our wants aren't even in the picture.  I'm running a business in an over sized abandoned building that doesn't have the luxury of being able to piggy back on the heat from the above and below floors.  There is no heat on the other floors, there are broken windows with the chill of winter filling up the space.  Plus the size of our club alone makes it one costly beast to maintain.

Anyways, I just wanted to vent and let it out, even if it is just me reading this post and no one but my eyes and those of complete strangers seeing it.  Just had too many people throw their "just buy" comments at me lately.  I got invited to a friend's Christmas party and was told to buy a present for the gift exchange so I can't go.  Do I want to go, sure, but I can't bring myself to buy a gift for someone I don't know when I know there are others I could and should be putting my money towards. I know my business partner, Snickers, I know our sponsors and I know our members, those are all people I need to spend my money on.  They are also the same people I want to spend my money on.

This month our struggle are all the unexpected huge expenses, next month it may be needing to hire part time help for our vacation rush.  There's always something that comes up but I'm proud of my challenges, these struggles, because we always attack and conquer.  I know the struggles are a part of the success story of Hulk's and nothing great comes easy.  The challenges, the obstacles, the hard times as well as the good times, they're all the building blocks to making our dream come true -- the making of Hulk's.   Having said this though, it didn't make tonight's frozen cold blankets and chilly pillow any easier to sleep in but it meant perhaps I slept sounder than the next person who has the money but not the dream.