I joked awhile back to a friend, saying that I was thinking of taking up drinking, but I wasn't really joking. I don't drink and I don't really want to drink but I do want to get out more, disconnect from work, from the club, and just be in a place where no one knows me as Coach Amy or boxer Amy, where people only know me from what I share with them at that particular moment.
Tonight I had one of those moments.
I had meet up with some people from the church I've been attending, for coffee together, but then after returning to the club I decided I wanted to go back out again. When closing time came, I cleaned up Hulk's, turned off the lights, locked the doors, and headed out. I ended up going to a local bar where the owner is quite familiar with me. We often chat about how each others' business is doing and I like that. He can relate with me on a level that so many others think they can but definitely can't because until you run your own business you really have no idea what it means to be doing so.
Usually his bar is buzzing with patrons but tonight it was fairly quite. The recent MERS situation has spooked many. Only a few customers were sitting at the bar chatting and sipping on their drinks. I shook hands with the owner and he invited me to sit at the bar so I sat down. Beside me, to my right, sat a Korean man who I was quick to find out spoke English quite well and was more than willing and eager to jump into the conversation I had started with the owner. I didn't mind and, if anything, it was a pleasant addition.
We had never met before but tonight we got into a lengthy discussion. I had only intended to be there for about 30 minutes, until Snickers arrived home, but I ended up staying over two hours. After about an hour I went to go excuse myself from the bar and go home but then the man on my right said thank you to me. He then went on the explain why he had said thank you and why he was particularly happy to have met me tonight.
This Sunday marks the most unfortunate passing of his oldest daughter, age 9. She had broken her elbow and had been admitted into the hospital for a simple routine surgery when a lazy mistake by the doctor in charge, regarding the little girl's anaesthesia, cost her her life. The doctor then went and took his own life as a result of not being able to cope with the immense guilt.
I sat there listening to this, eyes wide open and hands on my mouth. I had no idea what to say. What could I say?! Nothing really. I told him I was so extremely sorry for his loss and then he continued on to tell me more details about how his family and him are dealing with it.
I returned to Hulk's feeling so incredibly heartbroken for this man I had just met, his family and the loss of their beautiful child. I felt terrible for the family of the doctor who had committed suicide too because as natural and as expected as it is to be overwhelmingly mad at such a person for their careless mistake I don't think you'd ever wish them death. Consequently, two families now have lost so much. It's all so incredibly sad and to say it's sad is just such an understatement.
It's stuff like this that scares the crap out of me, silly things that could be oh so avoided but weren't. Things so small that cause something so big. Simple, little things that can change your life forever and crush your world. I know once we opened Hulk's this became my biggest fear, the fact that I am finally honestly happy but so afraid to be happy because it seems to good to be true and it can so easily change. It's changed me too, being happy and being afraid to be happy, and I know it all started when we started to make Hulk's. I often find myself randomly text messaging Snickers to remind him to wear his seat belt and staying up until he comes home regardless of the time or what I have planned for the next morning.
This man had what most people would label as "it all" -- the loving wife, the beautiful children, the great paying job, the house, the car -- but then it all shattered when one person made a little mistake. One person whom his family had put their trust in because this person was a paid, educated professional whose job it was to save lives and heal the sick so it was there wasn't a shadow of a doubt with their trust in him to care for their child. Now their child is gone, robbed too early of a life that could have, would have and should have been and there I was listening to such details of the story tonight over a drink.
My intentions are not to start drinking, as in become an alcoholic, but maybe have one every once in awhile as opposed to one or two a year. It's not really good for my health and I find it all rather unattractive, but I can't help but worry for my new unexpected friend I met at the bar tonight and want to return later to check up on him. His family has since gone to Jeju Island temporary, as a means of trying to cope, so he is here alone in Cheonan. The plan is to meet up with him again, check up on him to see how he is doing. No one deserves to experience this kind of pain and surely no one should have to go through it alone.
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