I feel like I've maxed out my potential here in Korea, reached my potential. There's no room for me to grow or expand upon myself. I've made my dream job a reality and now I'm hungry for more. I'm frustrating wanting more, needing more, and not being able to find it here in Korea. I used that to fuel my training tonight, to let it get to me and make me mad but in doing so I totally exhausted myself on the sandbags and with the weights.
I blasted my angry music today, flicked on the round bell, and went to work training hard. Dripped in sweat and my heart pounding, I felt a surge of energy go through me as I realized I'm leaving Korea to pursue my potential.
I know some people think I'm crazy leaving Korea. I have the husband, the fame and fortune, the dream-come-true job, and even the super awesome four-legged babies... but I want more. There's got to be more because this can't be as good as it gets. And it's not as good as many people think. I have mastered the art of deception and image.
Did you know I didn't have electricity at my apartment for some time when we were making Hulk's?
Did you know I didn't bath for awhile and instead stuck to washing my hair in the CGV movie theater because we couldn't afford hot water at our apartment during renovations?
Did you know that the coffee my friends brought was on some days the only thing in my belly when we were renovating the club?
No, you didn't. No one but Snickers and I knew because we knew we had to fake it before we made it so that's exactly what we did. We didn't tell anyone. We faked it so that we could make it. It was either pay our house bills or pay the construction workers and suppliers and that decision was an easy one for us because the club was our dream, having silky clean hair wasn't. Image made, protected and believed by everyone.
Very few people know the real me here in Korea but I've started to shed light on my life with some friends in Canada and their response was "come back". I'm going back to Canada, not because anyone told me or because Snickers supports this decision, but because it is something I need to do for myself. If people can't understand that or accept that, well, that's their own problem.
1 comment:
Living your life for yourself is the best thing you can do to be true to who you are. I wish you all the best. I hope your marriage will thrive when you are away -- mine didn't!
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