I read an article online that was titled "15 Things Badass Women Do Differently" so I thought it interesting to write down their 15 things and see how they pertain to me. Am I as bada$$ as I think I am or others have labelled me to be, I don't know. You be the judge.
1. They dare to go for it.
I know we shocked the socks off so many people when we decided to take a leap of faith and build our boxing club with what limited money we had. There were times when we couldn't even pay the rent for our apartment and yet there we were trying to make Korea's largest boxing club. We made it though, I made my dream a reality, and then I left it. I left Korea as a successful, very well known entrepreneur and pro boxer only to come to Canada as a poor, starving athlete that no one really knew. I came to start not a new chapter in my life but a new book, a new life. If that doesn't make me daring than I don't know what does.
2. They never play the victim.
Despite what friends who know may say, I accept full responsibility for the good, the bad and the ugly that went down with my relationship in Korea because I consciously made the decision to stay. Those who know what I'm talking about here are very quick to do the blame game and point their fingers at Snickers but I was just as at fault for the wrong that was done. I had stayed for so long when I knew what was going on was so wrong. I'm not justifying Snickers' actions and the wrong he did, instead I'm explaining why I needed to hold off. For me, it was never a matter of if I could leave or should I leave. It was a matter of if I was really finished or if I was just quitting. I'm not a quitter but I know my limits with things and I needed it to get to that point where I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was done. And then I left.
3. They don't put themselves down.
We're all our worst critic and I'm no different. I don't think I put myself down so much as I just had certain expectations for myself that others think are quite high. I know myself, I know my capabilities and my weaknesses, so ya when I don't push myself as hard as I can or aren't getting the results I expect for myself I'm a bit hard on myself.
4. They go bold or go home.
Biggest boxing club in Korea baby!!! We didn't plan to be actually but we just so happened to score an amazing building and a financial sponsor who was willing to help us out. You better believe though that my former coach telling me to save my money and go to Canada because he thought I was going to fail definitely sparked some extra motivation with going big. So many people thought we couldn't do it so we made it big and then we made it extra big.
5. They love life.
I loved my life in Korea even though parts of it were missing for me. I didn't know things like family, church and close friends, were really missing until I came here to Canada though and now they're in abundance so I am more than in love with life. I feel like I have so much in my life right now, so much to be grateful for and in love with. I came from a really hard part in my life, my "past life" in Korea, and I've been given this second chance to start a whole new life.
6. They know their worth.
Yes and no. I definitely think my perception of myself and my worth has been somewhat warped because of having lived in Korea for so long. I really felt like half a woman in Korea and struggled with my self worth there because I was in a man-dominated sport in a male-dominated culture where I was constantly questioned why I as a female was boxing and why I didn't have a Korean baby. I was a well-educated and multi-talented woman from a very respected family in Canada but all that didn't matter because I hadn't "settled down", popped out a kid, have a regular 9-5 job, or partake in more "feminine sports" like yoga. [Yoga, for the record, is not a sport.] Moreover, I didn't have the long legs, thin arms, and long beautiful hair. Instead I had the stocky weight lifter's legs, muscular arms, and half shaved head of hair that was always messy because of training. I didn't fit the gender norm or expectations and that was only all that more emphasized and talked about because I had Korean in-laws, Korean friends, and about 80% of those I coached were Korean. I was made all too aware that I didn't fit in and it gave me a bit of a complex that I still struggle with.
7. They are social butterflies.
I think it really depends on the situation for me actually because I really don't like meeting new people nor do I like crowds of people. I used to hate meeting new people in Korea because of how I viewed it: another person to prove myself to and justify why I don't fit in. I either got praised because I wasn't the stereotypical foreigner in Korea or I got frowned upon because of the same reasons I was praised for. It was exhausting. My roommate described me the other day as "very quite and private" to her house guests but I think once I get to know people and feel comfortable, I'm pretty loud and hyper.
8. They aren't hung up on love.
Ummmmm.... I left someone (a fiance) when I went to Korea and then I left another person (a husband) when I came to Canada. Point proven.
9. They call people out on bullsh*t.
I'm definitely known for sticking up for myself and calling people out but I think it's also because I kind of like confrontation to a certain extent. I'm not shy with what I believe in or what I stand for. I've had my fair share of people telling me in Korea what I should or shouldn't do, who I should or shouldn't be, so I'm definitely one to turn the table and call people out on their BS.
10. They don't dream of being on The Bachelor.
I don't share my food and I don't share my men so I definitely am not a girl that'd ever go on a show where I'd have to share one dude with a dozen or so other women. You can have him. I'm not a jealous person, I'm very confident in who I am, and if I have to fight for a man to acknowledge my worth than he is too dumb in the first place for me to even waste my time. Next!
11. They don't dream of being a reality star.
Being a pro female foreign boxer in Korea, I had my share of the spotlight not only when I fight but in the media too with various TV shows and even some printed media. I did the reality show where my life was documented for well over a month -- body mics, cameras perked in the club, hand cameras, and even a drone. Did it, done it, not doing it again. I have still yet to watch any of the episodes beyond the first one because I was able to pick out in the first one how certain things were taken out of context and edited according to the director's wants and interests. Reality TV isn't real reality and that's the ironic truth about it all.
12. They take care of themselves.
I'd like to think I do. I strive hard to be healthy -- mind, body and spirit. I go to church for my not only my mind but also my spirit too because of the social interaction I have with all the sweet members and their overdose of smiles and hugs. I train hard at boxing, with my running and also with my weight training which clearly means I've got my body taken care of. I do morning meditation in my bed before I kick off my day and I am always sure to say my prayers when I go to sleep at night.
13. They never put someone's wants before their own.
This could perhaps be viewed as a selfish thing but for so long I ignored myself and put others like Snickers and my club before my wants. Consequently, I lost myself. I think it's important to love yourself and look out for number one because if you don't than who will.
14. They care little about appearances.
I care about appearances to the extent of making sure my image sticks and portrays the attitude I want it to -- tough boxer. But as for make-up, nails, nice clothes, and whatnot... I just don't have the energy, time or money for that. I'm too busy pushing myself through training and recharging my body for the next training to care about what I really look like. Moreover, that's a lot of chicken and spinach I could buy instead of that new shirt that I may only be able to wear once this month.
15. They are not wishers, they are doers.
I'd like to view myself as definitely a doer with high hopes and big goals. Right now I am working on formulating my Second Dream; it's still very much in the rough draft.
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