I don't know if what I am about to do is right but I know what I have been doing isn't working. I said this on Friday and I am saying it again but my meaning then and my meaning now are totally so completely different because of Saturday. I'm taking a leap of faith, going with my gut instinct, and am hoping that what I'm doing works out because I don't want to be the poster child for insanity.
Insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
Things have to change. I've known this for awhile but attending the fights at the Hershey Centre last week and all the politics that went with that only confirmed it. Then this Saturday I found the answer to the problems that have burdened me for some time now.
That hat I posted a picture of yesterday, well, that hat changed everything.
On Saturday I had bought that hat and what was supposed to be a simple exchange of money for it quickly evolved into quite the business meeting. Over an hour later I left with the hat in hand and a whole new, unexpected path for my boxing career.
I've had two days to digest such new path and I've been digesting it while nursing some pretty significant injuries. I've been walking around the 6ix feeling rather punch drunk since last Friday's sparring session. I have a minor head concussion -- biggest head rush ever. It isn't so bad now but it's not good either. I thought it was just that I was hungry or needing coffee but it'a now 4:40pm, am 3 meals into my day, 2 coffees down and desperately needing more coffee just to stay alert and focused. I usually only drink 2 cups so it's not so odd but I am desperate for some kind of energy fix and feel dizzy. If it weren't for the fact I am drug free and have never done drugs you'd think I am high.
7:47pm, bought a double long espresso with the hope that it would give me a much needed second wind to get through my weight training. It didn't. One of the front desk girls, a friend of mine, asked to workout with me tonight. With the exception of Double J and two of the Asian Invasion Crew, I don't usually train with anyone but I agreed to help her train tonight. I figured if the coffee wasn't going to give me a jolt of energy than she with her positive energetic vibes would. She did.
I feel so mentally spent with my boxing, the politics and complications of it, but I also know I am so done with complaining about it. On Saturday someone said "people only do to you what you allow" and that really hit a cord with me because he was absolutely right. But now that I've come to this realization, it's all about accepting it and doing something about it.
This is long over due but now I'm doing something about it. Better late than never. Perhaps I needed things to get this, for me to reach an absolute high level of frustration to become pro active and do something. I'm totally uncomfortable with what I'm about to do but the magic only happens when you go out of your comfort zone, right?! Well, I guess I'm about to test this idea out. I'd say wish me luck but I don't believe in luck. Luck is for the ill-prepared and undeserving. I'm prepared and I'm so deserving of the greater that's about to happen, let's just see who has my back and is still in my corner when this all goes down.
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