I still randomly refer to Korea as home, refer to people in Canada as "you guys", and point out things that are different. I still have moments of reverse culture shock where I feel somewhat lost, like a tourist.
Today I had a moment.
I was sitting in the movie theatre, watching "Conjuring 2", when suddenly a man turned to a group of noisy people behind him and said "Would you shut the fu@&; up; I'm trying to watch the movie." Instantly I was reminded that I wasn't in Korea. This never would happen in Korea. Besides the obvious fact that the man wouldn't have spoken in English, the man also wouldn't have cursed as such and probably wouldn't have said anything because the group behind him wouldn't have been so noisy to start off with. Theatre security ended up entering the scene but only after more words were exchanged and the rest of the crowd was disrupted. It wasn't until the whole row of them got up and left that I really felt uncomfortable.
I didn't know if the man who had made the original remark to them had left or not but the group of them getting up and leaving was a huge yellow flag in my head. "They're going to do something to retaliate", I thought to myself.
People here [note that I just totally caught myself doing it again, referring to Canadians here as if I'm not one of "them"] are different. They're so much braver to do whatever they want, regardless of what others think or say.
Recently there's been a spree of shootings. Not only down south with the police but also here in Canada. In my own neighbourhood too. I was convinced it was a gun shooting that had spooked Balboa. I later found out that it wasn't a gun, it was in fact a garbage can full of fireworks, but it wouldn't had surprised me if it were a gun. Since I've moved to Cabbagetown, there has been two separate occasions of guns being fired off outside my house, two cyclists pulling guns on each other down my street and a double stabbing outside the neighboring apartment. A part of me thought I'd be in the vicinity of another shooting tonight, at the movie theatre.
Toronto isn't the city I remembered. It grew up to become a wilder and braver Toronto but not really in the good sense of things. I'm still very much in love with Toronto but like a parent dealing with a troubled teen, too often I find myself nervous and rolling my eyes. Toronto has become a rebellious teenager in my eyes.
I'm not in Korea anymore. Toronto is so different than Korea. It may as well be the Land Of Oz and me be Dorothy, clicking my heels and wanting to go home. Again with the reference to Korea as being home... I caught that no sooner as I typed it.
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