I'm totally half a$$ing life here in Canada, I know it. I'm one foot in Canada but also one foot in Korea. I'm sitting on the fence and not fully on one side. I totally feel as if I'm not fully invested here, like I'm being held back and am holding back. All silly analogies and whatnot aside, I know I have to cut ties.
I'll be doing that soon but not soon enough.
Snickers has it in his head that he's coming to Canada because I've told him I'll only be visiting in December, not moving back. I can't have him here though and by can't I mean I don't want him to step into my world here. It is a world without him and I'd like to keep it that way. I made memories with him over five years ago and there are times when I am reminded of them but he doesn't get to touch my world anymore.
I'm quite the procrastinator when it comes to doing things that I really don't want to because I don't really know how to. Korea is definitely one of those things and tonight, when a slur of text messages sent my phone buzzing across my night table, I rolled my eyes and regretted for not dealing with Korea earlier.
As for the above screenshot of text messages and what they're talking about, they're from a former Hulkie -- a female whose company whom she works for use to sponsor me. It'd be one thing if she was just some random Korean girl in Korea but she has a history not only with my club but with me and it went beyond just training together. Anyways, she wrote to me, telling me to stop contacting Snickers because I'm causing him stress and that she's now living in my boxing club with him.
The girl is all drama, that's the short of the long of it, and I'm so anti-drama.
First of all, Snickers is always the one contacting me. And as for her living there, K-Gere (Snickers' father) lives there and I highly doubt he'd ever let his son live with another woman especially if he was living under the same roof. His family may not have the same moral upbringing as mine but I'm thinking he wouldn't be cool with what this girl says is happening. Regardless, I'm not cool with her messaging me. It was like a kick to the gut because I hear one thing from Snickers and another thing from her. The first time this particular girl messaged me was Valentine's Day and with the exception of several messages passed back and forth then, I haven't heard from her since. Trust me, she's definitely going to hear from me when I go to Korea. I'm going to show up at her work and tell her to stop messaging me. I could seriously care less what's going on between her and Snickers but what's going on between her and me, these text messages, this annoyance, it's to stop. It's so immature and I really don't care about it beyond it frustrating me and legally complicating ties I'm trying to cut off as fast and as clean as I can. If she wants to make a legal mess for Snickers, she is certainly doing a good job. I almost feel sorry for him at this point.
I just want to live my life. I want to fully live it in one country and right now I'm so split between the two.
1 comment:
Well, this is really your fault. You haven't clearly told, upfront, once and for all, that it's over, that you're never going back and that you want a divorce. If you want the whole thing to be over, you have to take a deep breath and deal with it. What she's doing is immature and annoying but you keep stretching things by not being completely direct with the whole thing.
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