I took the night off training. I needed a break, a means of avoiding people, and I decided this after I said to someone one of the meanest things someone has ever said to me. I texted someone tonight "You exhaust me" -- the line that was said to me this past summer when a certain someone kicked me out of his truck at the side of the highway. Instantly he proved he was worth being no one in my life but that line stuck.
I said it to Butter -- "You exhaust me".
Last night a man suffering from obvious major drug withdrawals walked into my female-only fitness club and starting yelling, screaming that someone was trying to kill him, and then he puked all over the front lobby area. The two trainers on staff working both responded differently but one called the police. Paramedics arrived but no police came. We had a meeting today with regards to this and what emergency action we should take. They noted they had wished I was there when it had happened because they know I'm a kind of take-no-BS kind of girl. They know I would have taken matters into my own hands as oppose to calling the cops. Tonight I had that to deal with -- the anticipation of him possibly returning while I managed the club and coached my clients. He never did return though.
The other day someone said an uncalled for mom joke and I responded with "my mom's dead". That someone was the Golden Nugget. He followed up to my response with a very apologetic text message in which he added he hoped we had no ill feelings. I never answered. I don't have any ill feelings, I just don't have the mental immaturity to participate in school yard nonsense. Anyways, because I never answered anticipation of me possibly punching the Nuggest at first sight at the gym tonight started up and it kicked off with a fellow gym-goer texting me, asking if I was going to start a fight. Oh please, don't flatter him by thinking I actually care.
A lot of people seem to exhausting me today -- Butter, the anticipation of this man at my club, the Golden Nugget, Foo Man Choo, Plan B, and even the Nigerian Doctor.
Me allowing myself to be distracted, me dividing my attention, time and effort for them. And there it was, the realization that it really had nothing to do with them but in fact it was all me. Me trying to care, me trying to juggle all that I'm trying to take on and conquer, and me trying to work at "Korean speed" in Canada and getting frustrated that it's not panning out as I want it to or as fast. I needed a break tonight. I was feeling rather mentally spent and feeling mentally drained meant I couldn't push myself physically. I just wanted to recharge. So that's what I did.
Called off tonight's boxing and weight training, then texted the Captain and told him "Let's go get ice cream, my treat".
Ice cream out with a dear friend was exactly what I needed.
Came home feeling super refreshed and then ended up getting into quite the lengthy phone conversation on the phone with someone I have never met before, someone who up until yesterday I didn't know exist. Perhaps it was the break I needed, the overdose of sugar from the ice cream and sweetness from my friend that abled me to stay until to the wee hours of the day, I don't know, but that mental break worked wonders.
A lot of people seem to exhausting me today -- Butter, the anticipation of this man at my club, the Golden Nugget, Foo Man Choo, Plan B, and even the Nigerian Doctor.
Me allowing myself to be distracted, me dividing my attention, time and effort for them. And there it was, the realization that it really had nothing to do with them but in fact it was all me. Me trying to care, me trying to juggle all that I'm trying to take on and conquer, and me trying to work at "Korean speed" in Canada and getting frustrated that it's not panning out as I want it to or as fast. I needed a break tonight. I was feeling rather mentally spent and feeling mentally drained meant I couldn't push myself physically. I just wanted to recharge. So that's what I did.
Called off tonight's boxing and weight training, then texted the Captain and told him "Let's go get ice cream, my treat".
Ice cream out with a dear friend was exactly what I needed.
Came home feeling super refreshed and then ended up getting into quite the lengthy phone conversation on the phone with someone I have never met before, someone who up until yesterday I didn't know exist. Perhaps it was the break I needed, the overdose of sugar from the ice cream and sweetness from my friend that abled me to stay until to the wee hours of the day, I don't know, but that mental break worked wonders.
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