I said it to Butter -- "You exhaust me".
A lot of people seem to exhausting me today -- Butter, the anticipation of this man at my club, the Golden Nugget, Foo Man Choo, Plan B, and even the Nigerian Doctor.
Me allowing myself to be distracted, me dividing my attention, time and effort for them. And there it was, the realization that it really had nothing to do with them but in fact it was all me. Me trying to care, me trying to juggle all that I'm trying to take on and conquer, and me trying to work at "Korean speed" in Canada and getting frustrated that it's not panning out as I want it to or as fast. I needed a break tonight. I was feeling rather mentally spent and feeling mentally drained meant I couldn't push myself physically. I just wanted to recharge. So that's what I did.
Called off tonight's boxing and weight training, then texted the Captain and told him "Let's go get ice cream, my treat".
Ice cream out with a dear friend was exactly what I needed.
Came home feeling super refreshed and then ended up getting into quite the lengthy phone conversation on the phone with someone I have never met before, someone who up until yesterday I didn't know exist. Perhaps it was the break I needed, the overdose of sugar from the ice cream and sweetness from my friend that abled me to stay until to the wee hours of the day, I don't know, but that mental break worked wonders.