As the story has it, I woke up and found myself on the very opposite side of the globe – the flipside. I arrived February 16th, 2005 and thought I’d simply do a year, then leave. Years later and I’m still here. I went from being some random foreign girl to taking on labels I never imagined – university professor, film extra, professional boxer, CEO of my own girls-only fitness company, Flipside Fitness, and CEO of my own boxing club, Korea's largest -- Hulk's Club, formerly known as Hulk's Boxing.

After 11.5yrs in Korea, I picked up one day and left. I returned to Toronto, Canada but only to pack up my bags and venture out again. Now I'm living in Makate, Philippines. Life, for me, is better in Asia and I'm so happy here. This a new chapter in the book of my life though, it's a whole new book I've started!!! I'm a whole new woman and I left Korea with Flipside Fitness on my brain, Hulk's in my heart, boxing in my bag, and my four-legged friend Balboa Button by my side.

Life is an adventure and this is my story of yesterday.

Tuesday, February 07, 2017

My Only Regret... Tuesday, February 7

On this day 4 years ago I stood by the kicked in, broken glass door of an abandoned building that I had just agreed to hand over my entire life savings for.  This door belonged to me now and the next week it'd be gutted out because Hulk's Boxing would be made there.  

Sometimes I really hate those "On This Day" posts Facebook makes recaps for. 

I don't need to walk down memory lane on a daily bases as Facebook so easily has made as an option in my life.  Memory lane is a heartbreaking path to take.  To see what I left in Korea -- the good, the bad and the ugly, it's a bitter sweet lane that slows me down from moving forward.

Today I took that path.  I scrolled down memory lane with Facebook.

At this point, I know I'm most definitely more heartbroken that I left Pyen Chi and Pacquiao there than my actual boxing club.  I know they no longer wake up in the comfort of a big, oversized queen bed and they're no longer hugged so much and kissed so much that they scurry away as if to tease me.  Pyen Chi no longer enjoys the local butcher's meat bones I used to pick up for her and Pacquiao no longer has the role of being my security dog and following me around like a shadow.  They probably don't celebrate their birthdays anymore with pizza or share in any kind of holiday feasts.  Instead, they now live on the rooftop of the boxing club.  It's a massive area for them to play and run around...alone... and that's where they now spend their whole life, just the two of them.  They probably don't go for car rides out into the countryside, where Pyen Chi would sit in the grass and Pacquiao would have to be held down till they got there because he was notorious for jumping out of the window with excitement.  Their lives are so different now and it's because I'm not there, I know it.

Snickers' father now lives in the boxing club, a fact that I really don't care to touch base on because I have too much to say and nothing that's nice.  He lives in the club which means Pyen Chi and Pac for sure are restricted to the rooftop all the time.  I absolutely hate, hate, hate that fact.  

My absolute only regret with moving to Canada isn't leaving my club and my members, and it's not in not fighting for Pyen Chi and Pac to come join me here.  It's with not finding a new home for them -- a family that would show them the love they deserved.  It was always me who overdosed them with love, affection and attention, not Snickers because while he had his family and friends there, the longer I lived there the more and more I felt like I only had my dogs.  There were my family, my friends.  I didn't think I'd stay here more than one year.  My initial intention was only to stay a year and then return.  I don't plan on returning to live there again, though I do plan on returning to finish things up, ties lose ends and say my goodbyes.    

I know some would argue here and say that they're just dogs, there's no real reason to get upset.  They probably don't remember.  They probably don't even care.  But that's the thing though.  I remember and I care, so I do have reason to get upset, to feel regret.  

I fought to get Balboa to Canada and now he's here with me.  He'll be going to the Philippines with me too.  He lives a totally different life here in Canada and I know he's so much happier but I can't help but feel regret for Pyen and Pac.  I left Korea and Balboa's life got so much better but Pyen Chi and Pac's life got worse.  It got worse because of me.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why not find them a good home in Canada? You have your Dad, maybe they could stay there till you find them their forever home or find a place where you could have them.

권투선수 에이미 [Amy] said...

Dear Anonymous,
I thought of that but it'd be hard to keep them together. Pyen Chi sheds like a beast and Pac is really particular with who he likes, so is Pyen Chi actually. They both need an owner who has a big space for them to play in and a lot of attention to give them. That's why them living at the boxing club was perfect -- it was big and there's always people there. Making them live confined to the rooftop however, that's a whole other story but that was Snickers' choosing... and his father's too, I'm guessing.