You know what strong is, strong is meeting with a friend you haven't seen for so long, chatting about all the big things happening, and then getting bad news but continuing on like you never even got it.
That's exactly what happened today.
After my morning client, I met up with a friend from Makati and as we were sipping on coffee, I got a message regarding my business and a certain investment. Only the first line popped up on my phone but I quickly read it and instantly knew it was bad. I waited till after her and I parted, when I was on route to boxing, to read the full message.
I won't go into the details of it or who it was from but it was bad. It was so bad I dropped my bag and just stood there, like a deer caught in the headlights. I got all choked up and all in one minute I went from being okay, to not okay. Upset to extremely disappointed. Angry to flat out pissed off. I wanted to skip boxing, go home and cry. Instead, I continued my walk to the boxing club.
I've reached another delay in my business and honestly it feels like it's one thing after another. I've been told before that if you can't handle the stress then you don't deserve the success but I tell you, the stress I'm under with launching my own business feels like I'm holding my breath through one way too long fight. It feels like a street fight. An uneven fight with me going against all the odds and everyone just trying to stop me in my tracks.
Today, I must admit, I rather envied the 9-5er. With their steady hours and steady pay. Their assigned days off and holidays. Their security. But it's not really what they have that I envy. Sure, steady pay is nice, but what it is is all that it's not. What they don't have to put up with that I envy.
Anyone that says "it might be great to be an entrepreneur" clearly doesn't have the slightest idea of the heartaches, challenges and stress associated with it. You think you have it rough clocking in at a job you hate, try making your passion your paycheck and see how many people throw stones at you and really test your passion for what you're doing.
In one year, I'll be singing a different tune, I know that, but for now this is what matters and it's rough. It hurts.
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