It's Tuesday, only the second day of the new week and already I'm getting anxiety over whether or not I'm being productive about this week.
Anxiety sucks.
I used to only get anxiety over sparring. I'd be filled with anxiety the night before, so much so that you'd think I was having a professional bout the next day and not "just" sparring. Now I get anxiety on the daily.
I get anxiety over time... do I have enough time to do this and that? Will I make it there on time? How come something/someone is taking so long? When will this finish? Will I have enough time to complete this?.... oh gosh.
I think time is the biggest thing I get anxiety over, the use of it, the lack of it, the speed of it, the shortness of it, etc, etc. Having said that, you can imagine the anxiety I get over people's use and abuse of "Filipino time". My anxiety over time and my lack of patience is a rough and tough combo, one that every day I am forced to deal with.
I wasn't always like this.
When I try to think of when I became like this, I realize it wasn't until I moved to the Philippines and, more specifically, it wasn't until I parted ways with my business partner and decided to return solo with Empowered. That's when I felt my anxiety start but I think it became amplified once Skittles opened his shop, The Refined. He had had a "running head start" on launching his business here in the Philippines in that he came here exactly for it, to launch his business. I came here basically just to train. I pretty much didn't even get into starting up my business till about 4 months into being here. Having said that though, I feel light years away with Empowered in comparison to where he is with The Refined. And though we're not in a competition, I can't help but randomly compare our journeys and our business timelines. He's got a full fledge team and I've got, well, me, myself and I, so while it's just me working on Empowered, it's them working on The Refined. It only furthers the gab between where our businesses are.
The fact that I'm juggling being a full time athlete, now adding rugby to my weekly training, with being a coach and a full time entrepreneur, I know I'm living life at full speed and leaving little room for other things, including taking a breather. Tonight I added full contact rugby to my weekly training. It's out of town but thankfully I now take Angkas so it cuts my travel time and transportation costs by more than half. Some of my teammates left BGC around 5:30pm tonight for training at 7pm but me, thanks to the wonderful world of Angkas, left at 6:40pm. Okay, so I showed up 12 minutes late, it still meant my 32 minute drive killed their 2 hour trek. Every single day, with the exception of Saturday, half my day is spent training. Whether that's touch rugby, full contact rugby or boxing, I am training like a beast. Touch rugby games are on Saturdays but this Saturday I'm not able to make it because I'm launching the Lil' Pow Boxing Class with the Lil' Sistas Project out in Antipolo at The Center of Hope. Am super excited about that. So while I technically won't be training on Saturday, I'll definitely be active with my Lil' Sistas, all 50 of them!!!
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