As the story has it, one day I headed to the opposite side of the globe – the Flipside. I arrived in Korea February 16th, 2005 and thought I’d do a year, then leave. I was wrong. I stayed, launched my first company, Flipside Fitness, and then opened Korea's largest boxing club, Hulk's Boxing (now called Hulk's Club).

After 11.5yrs in Korea, I then picked up one day and returned to Toronto, Canada. But then I left again.

Now I live in the Philippines where I am the CEO and head coach of Empowered Clubhouse, the Philippines' first and only boxing clubhouse exclusively just for women. I also am the founder of the Lil' Sistas Project, CEO and designer of Slay Gear and Baa Baa Black Sheep .Ph.

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

Backhanded Compliments and My Take... Tuesday, September 9

I saw this article published online today and thought I'd share it with you, along with my take on what I thought of each point.  The article was about compliments people give fitness-goers and how backhanded they are.  I can totally relate and could probably add to this list of backhanded compliments with the ones I frequently get, like "You're pretty for a boxer".  I'm not too sure if they think I must be ugly to be a boxer or ugly because I am a boxer.  Regardless, I get my fair share of twisted compliments but here's the article I wanted to share:

1. “I don’t know how you find the time to work out. I’m always so busy!”

Wow. Talk about condescending. Like every other human, people who are into fitness have 24 hours a day which consists of multiple commitments from work to relationships to laundry. And the reality is fitness is something that you do, if you value it. It’s not about having the time; it’s about making the time.
MY TAKE: Yes, I work at the boxing club and live at the boxing club, so many argue that my problem isn't finding the time, or making the time as the article states.  And this is true.  After training over 50 members a day, having not only my training skills but also my language skills and patience (Pesky Parkers to blame here) day in and day out, for me it's about finding the extra energy to train with such intensity, like I don't have to coach for 10 hours a day and then head out late night or before work the next day to deal with all the behind-the-scene work that comes with operating a boxing club and trying to step back into the ring.  Bank managers need to be met, government officials demand me to come sign this and that, sponsors want me to make appearances, parents of mini Hulkies want follow-ups about their kids,...and the list continues.
2. “You look great but the muscular look is just not for me.”
This one is usually directed at girls and all I have to say is “what?!” I’ll try and design my body according to your wishes. NOT! Firstly, it’s REALLY hard for girls to get a bulky look – our hormones are just not into it. Secondly, “having muscles” is not the goal as much as being strong is. And strength is good for functional everyday life movement, bone density, and simply recovering from injury faster.
MY TAKE:  Usually when someone says this to me they're Korean and they're hoping I don't borrow their sweaters, meaning they think I'm bulky.  I don't care to have my bicep and forearm the same size as my wrist so I simply smile and move on.  Call me muscular, I'm flattered but don't think for one moment I care to look like a walking pair of chopsticks.  Chopsticks are for eating, my arms were made for fighting.
3. “You look healthy now but don’t get skinnier.”
What is the purpose of this statement? I know it’s a difficult concept given the issues we have surrounding food and weight, but some people really ARE naturally skinny. More importantly, you can be healthy at different sizes. I’m not going to go all out and say you can be healthy at all sizes because physiologically that’s just not true. But please, who died and made you the healthy body police?
MY TAKE:  I've never heard this said in Korea because I don't think there's such a thing as becoming "too skinny" here.  Having said that though, I do believe healthy comes in so many sizes.  I just know my size isn't a size zero though.
4. “Are you really going to eat ALL of that…?”
My general reaction to this is, “I ordered it, didn’t I?” The funny thing is most of the time, people who are into fitness are also generally food-conscious. So if you see someone eating ALL that they ordered, rest assured that they probably know what they are doing. (They might have just squatted for an hour and they need to replenish.)
MY TAKE:  I train hard, I eat clean and food is fuel.  It takes a lot of fuel to keep my body properly fuelled and if I want to indulge every one in awhile than so be it.  I'm well aware of what I eat, the price of training it'll cost -- 524 burpees to burn off a box of large fries -- but everything in moderation, that's what I always say.  I don't eat fast food, I very rarely even eat ice cream anymore and over 10 years ago I totally cut out pop.  I don't even drink juice or own salt.  So my "cheats" with my eating can hardly be considered cheats considering.
5. “Don’t understand why you’re so into this. You don’t need to lose weight.”
To people who say this: Have you ever considered that losing weight isn’t the goal of being fit? And even if it is, unless you’re sincerely concerned about a friend’s state of mind or physical heath, or are their personal doctor, you really have no business telling someone whether they should or should not be losing weight.
MY TAKE:  Losing weight was never my goal, shedding body fat so you can see my abs and improving upon the skills for my sport were.
6. “If you keep losing weight, you’re not going to have any booty left.”
Again, another one directed at the ladies, and especially women who may be consciously trying to lose weight (for reasons that are none of your damn business). A friend of mine had this said to her just because she wanted to lose 10 pounds. Because of course all that 10 pounds is going to come from her backside, right? Wrong! That’s not how most people’s bodies work. Now while I personally believe numbers on the scale matter less than what you physically see in the mirror and how you objectively feel about it, again, it’s nobody’s business telling someone how and where it’s appropriate to lose weight.
MY TAKE:  Oh trust me, there will be booty left, haven't you ever seen any squat motivational pictures on Pinterest?!  Exactly.  And as for where my body tends to lose weight, it seems to first go in my chest (am happy for this -- you try getting punched in the boob or go running and tell me it's not totally uncomfortable), next it's my waist.  My booty never seems to get smaller, just a perkier thanks to squats.
7. “Must be so nice being young and capable of doing all that.”
I will say this usually comes out of the mouth of some begrudged middle-aged person. And while I can empathize with getting older having adverse effects on one’s physical abilities, or being busy with raising a family, and all that, I really don’t understand why I, or any other fitness person, should punish ourselves because of you. Moreover, have you been to group fitness classes or races and seen some bad-ass middle-aged women and men kicking the asses of twenty-somethings? Because I have, and let me tell you, I have been put to shame more than just a few times.
MY TAKE:  Dude, you know I'm 34 right?!  Do you also know I'm usually the oldest one training at my boxing club?!  You probably didn't but now you know.  We have well over a hundred members and probably only 5% of them are older than me.  Look at WOW, he's close to 50 and he can kick pretty much everyone's butt in anything at training, so please drop the whole age thing.  It's way over rated.
8. “You’re so obsessed! Don’t you have a life?”
Yes people who are into fitness have lives, and there’s a lot to suggest a lot of people who are physically active are some of the most productive people in other areas of their lives as well. Because being into fitness often involves discipline which you can transfer to other areas of your life.
MY TAKE: "Obsessed" is the lazy person's word for "dedicated", enough said right there. May I remind you that this is my job, my passion, and so if I weren't getting paid to eat, sleep, and breath fitness than I'd be doing it anyways. Pro athlete looking to become the next champion and female coach looking to take her boxing club to the next level, those two things combined are enough to make one realize it's not just a matter of wishing and wanting, it's a matter of planning and doing.
9. “I could never do THAT. That sounds so boring!”
Thanks for calling the exercise, race, competition, etc. that someone else is doing, boring. Do you feel good about yourself? Look, you don’t have to like the things I like, but you don’t have to be a jerk either. I think my fitness life is pretty awesome actually, and I don’t really need your shade. Maybe you should get out of the shade, get into the sun (and come on a run with me some time). LOL. Just kidding, I generally don’t run with people.
MY TAKE:  Yes, you're probably right but not because you think it's so boring but instead because you don't want to.  Health and fitness isn't a priority for everyone, I get that, but knocking down something you're not into or something you've yet to try isn't cool and isn't a valid excuse.  
10. “You really take this whole fitness thing seriously, don’t you?”
Not any more serious than a lot of people take their favorite TV show which in case you haven’t noticed is at cultish levels too these days. Look for many people who love fitness, and I’m not talking about those who do it for ALL OF THE LIKES on social media, it mostly has to do with the stress relief, endorphins, and mental and yes, physical gains we get from fitness. Stop hating. If you can’t beat us, join us.
MY TAKE:  Again, I'm a pro athlete and coach/manager, it's my job and it's my passion.  I do what I love and love what I do.  

...and on that note, today Snickers and I headed out of town.  We were beach-bound but on account of the crazy holiday traffic, we took a detour and ended up at this gorgeous lake out in Asan.  The plan now is to figure out how long the path is around it and then incorporate it into my weekly training.  Snickers wants me to split up my training -- do running in the morning, weights and boxing in the afternoon -- so he's thinking of making come out here every weekend for my long run.  

I haven't been outside running for awhile, since before the start of summer.  The summer heat in Korea is brutal and it's way too hard for me to breath and run at the same time.  I've been working the treadmill these past months but nothing beats running outside -- the natural ups and downs of the terrain, the wind to contend with as well as the weather, the task of pushing yourself forward and the task of having to bring yourself back home.  It's a lot harder to cheat while running outside as supposed to on a treadmill; you can't simply step off the path and be exactly where you started.  So tonight I headed out for a long run.  I headed out to map out a new route for myself, one that stayed away from the street lights and busy streets.  I stuck to the river side and continued on to Dankook University.

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