Just recently I stumbled across a group page on Facebook, a Sunday morning breakfast club, so I decided to join it. I thought I'd scope it out first before attending -- check out their pictures and event invites on the group page and review any postings. But there were no group photos or official event sign-ups and the postings, for the most part, where simple messages from the organizer of the group announcing when the next meeting would be. So I texted my friend Cat and asked her if she's ever went.
I had to bring a food dish to share but wasn't sure on what to prepare. With the exception of my morning meals 1 and 2, most of my food is at Hulk's so last night I dropped by the club to figure out what to cook. I showed up at 11:30pm to cook up some sample ideas I had in mind. Ended up simply making a variation of what I already religiously eat every breakfast. I called it a Double B.O.P. It's two of my protein-packed oatmeal pancakes with some of my homemade peanut butter and sliced bananas in between. I figured it was a safe move on my behalf, because if all else failed and I didn't like the food then I'd at least be able to lean on my own dish.
In the elevator I ran into my friend Cat so together we went up.
I must admit, and I admitted this to the two gracious organizers too, today's event was nothing like I had expected. I had showed up quite the skeptic and had even told Snickers I'd be back in an hour max. Two and a half hours later and Snickers started texting me, "You ok?" I don't like meeting new people and lately I've been feeling exceptionally foreign to the foreigners but today definitely felt like an exception.
I've been in Korea for over nine years now, I'm 33 years old, am married, am married to a Korean man, and I don't teach English -- these five key facts about me often separate me, more so than one would think, from other foreigners. I'm not the young English teacher I was when I first arrived. I've grounded myself here, have family here and now run a business, so sometimes I find myself purposely avoiding foreigners because I really don't know what to talk to them about. I don't know how to relate to them when we lead such different lives. And, with the exception of a friend's birthday dinner invite, I can't remember the last time I was ever invited out to share a meal with a foreigner.
The other night there was a cookie-making contest event. I didn't get an invite to that, understandable because I didn't know the hosts, but friends I knew who all got invited were all hush-hush about it with me. I never get invited to events. I made cookies though, despite the no invite. Today I heard all about the event, who came and who baked what cookies. I even got to taste-test some of the cookies and take some home for Snickers. My no-cook peanut butter balls would have kicked some serious butt.
I know many foreigners feel uncomfortable eating around me, this is beyond obvious. It's repeatedly made obvious with the fact that many seem to feel obligated to explain or justify what they're eating when they do eat with me, as if I'm judging them, and it's really quite annoying. Hello, I eat carbs too, relax! I don't sit there judging their English grammar or try to explain why I've used a word incorrectly, so them trying to justify what's on their plate is really not needed. I'm more than happy to give advice on what could be healthier choices but they're more than free to make my own choices and I respect that. It's when people start trying to justify their food to me that I find it insulting and draining, as if I'm not respectful of their right to personal choice. I'm no more of a mother to them to have the right tell them they have to eat their veggies than they are an English teacher to me, telling me to dot my 'i's or cross my 't's.
Today's group breakfast together was probably one of the first times I've sat down with foreigners to eat where those present didn't try to justify their food choices. Beyond explaining what each had cooked and brought to the table, there really wasn't any talk of food and it was so refreshing. It was so, so, soooooo incredibly refreshing and for once I didn't feel like the designated party pooper.
Having written this though, there is of course the chance for those I know in Cheonan to read it and, consequently, the possibility of the greatness of today's event to turn into a one time fluke event. I had a really great time though. I would have stayed longer too but I had to go to the club early to change the coals and clean before opening. It was beyond refreshing to met another married couple that's looking to stay in Korea longer and I thought it rather ironic that there was only one really young, single girl in the crowd, when usually the foreign crowd is loaded with youngings.
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