I headed off to church today, an act that was long overdue and filled with much doubt. My main club sponsor goes to church and, in noting that I wished I had found a home church here in Korea, he asked me if I wanted to attend his with him. I agreed. He is after all more than just a sponsor; he is a business mentor who holds a social status in both Snickers and my life. His labels go well beyond business labels and expectations. He has become like family and so has his family. There is Kato his son, WOW Mama his wife, of course WOW and then there is YC, his other son.
I thought a Sunday service with them all would be great and do Snickers some good (he's never really gone to church before, well not here in Korea). So we got all dolled up, me wearing a skirt suit and insisting Snickers not wear jeans, and then WOW picked us up.
I had seen his church before and had even played basketball in their gymnasium but this was the first time I had ever attended a service.
I didn't like it.
Now to each their own here with what makes them feel comfortable at a church and I'm not about to talk trash about God's house, but I didn't like it. It was, to put it short and to the point, to image focused and not enough feeling for me. It was an incredibly beautiful building, with a massively high ceiling, gorgeous choir area and it even had a waterfall area outside. But it's service seemed rather old style and rigid, with it's choir members and pastoral staff wearing gowns and the entire service mapped out in their service bulletin they gave me. Churches here seem to fall into one of three categories here:
1. The "regular" church
It is directed towards a Korean congregation so it is in Korean, for Korean.
Problem: My Korean is good but what they talk about is not exactly everyday conversation, I mean how many times in a day do I use words like "Resurrection"and "salvation"?! Exactly. I can sing their hymns because I can read Korean and already know the translated English version but when it comes to the service, I simply don't understand what they are saying.
2. The "foreigners" church
It has an English-speaking pastor but its congregation is small and most often they have labelled themselves "non denominational", meaning they have no one main walk of faith.
Problem: I am Pentecostal, my beliefs are different than that of a Catholic and though I don't believe one belief is better than the other I would like a church that fosters my beliefs and builds upon them accordingly. I used to attend a church in Suwon that had its own service for foreigners but beyond it feeling like one huge meat market I didn't care for us to be totally segregated from the Koreans. And I didn't know what felt worse, church feeling like a dating joint or being told I couldn't attend the regular service like other members.
I know of various Bible study groups that meet in local places, like over at Sambu and at a coffee shop, but that is well beyond too personal of a situation for me. I do not care to spill my spiritual beans and make myself vulnerable like that in front of people, especially when I already have a lack of interaction with foreigners but somehow always manage to catch wind of their dirt.
3. The "adapted Korean/foreigners" church
Their "adaption" could include translating services, like earpieces or subtitle on a TV, or as be the case I ran into some years back, simplified English.
Problem: I speak English so simplified making a church service kind of like a two-for-one deal, offering scripture to us foreigners and English practice for the Koreans, felt frustrating and annoying. Today's church offered translations on a TV but it also meant I would be secluded from the rest of the congregation because I would have to sit in a "for foreigners" room. Moreover, a lot of these so called adapted churches are mainly located in the big cities, like Seoul and well Cheonan is definitely not Seoul so my pickings are very slim.
The whole thing made me miss my church back in Canada so much, both Whitby Christian Assembly and Faith Sanctuary in Toronto. I grew up attending Whitby Christian Assembly, a smaller church where my mother worked as the secretary, my father was on the church board, and I taught Sunday School, helped in the nursery and in the evening I often worked the sound system. My brothers also helped out too with sound and Super Church. My family was very active in the church as were many other families because the congregation at the time consisted of roughly 140 members. It was a nice cozy church were everyone knew everyone's name and everyone was a part of the bigger picture.
When I went away to university I started attending Faith Sanctuary, another Pentecostal church but on a much larger scale and much different platform. I was a minority there due to my colour and with it's massive congregation it felt like every week I met new people but they weren't new members, I just hadn't met them before. Pastor Granville would most randomly pick my blond hair out of the crowd, not a hard task considering, and would always make me blush whenever he did so. "I am happy to see Sister Amy is here today", he often commented. My parents loved visiting my church whenever they drove in from out of town because it was so massive, so pretty and so full of such positive energy. Every service felt like a rock concert -- people danced, members would pull out tambourines from their bags and the singing gave you such awesome goosebumps. It was a modern church with modern songs and nothing about it was cold, rigid or formulated feeling.
These days my "church service attendance" consists of randomly listening to taped broadcasts via the Internet. Faith Sanctuary tapes their Sunday morning services so I can listen to them. Sometimes when Snickers goes out for his Sports Day I turn off the lights at Hulk's, tune into a taped church service broadcast, close my eyes, and pretend I am there, sitting in one of the pews with all the other people.
I think that has been one of the hardest things that I have been challenged with here in Korea, not having a church home. I don't consider myself overly religious or "churchy" but I have my beliefs and no real church here. I want a place where I can learn, not a place I can be dissected and judged or feel uncomfortable. The adapted church best suits me but, as I mentioned above, the pickings are so slim here in Cheonan.
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