I've been laying on my bed here in Thailand, contemplating how to write what I want to write but continually find myself pressing the backspace delete button. I know what I want to say but I also know I can't share most of it, so I am thankful to those of my friends who reached out to me, checked up on me, and allowed me to vent via text messaging. I have entered a whole new other level of boxing and it's been as testing to my passion of the sport as it is my acceptance and patience with those involved in the boxing community. It's funny in that in asking for what I wanted I got it but I also got so much more than I ever thought possible let alone even knew existed. Like they say, you really should be careful for what you wish for because heaven help you get exactly what you wish for plus so much more you never bargained for.
I am ready to go home. I am so ready to go home. It's more that I am sick of some things as supposed to being homesick.
I'm done riding the daily roller coaster I've been riding. It leaves me feeling nauseous with the crazy range of emotions that comes with it. I think the first thing I will do when I get home is seriously drown Snickers and my pups in hugs and kisses. I want to thank Snickers for being the amazing coach that he doesn't even begin to understand or know that he really is. I want to hug and kiss Wow too. Being on this trip has just really opened my eyes to how honestly supportive he has been and how he has never ever pushed me to do something I don't want to do or thought wrong. I want to hug my manager too, for his email that really got to me and reiterated that he's got my back. I want Saturday to come fast so that I can get home. I don't want to spend my Sunday like I usually do, relaxing at home and basically hibernating from the public. I want to get out and spend the entire day enjoying the fall weather I heard has arrived in Korea. And then I want Monday to come quickly so that I can start work again and see my Hulkies. I miss their smiley faces, our silly jokes, and I just miss the refreshing positive energy that comes with training them hard, helping them to better themselves, and being in their presence.
I had weigh-in tonight. It started an hour and 12 minutes later than scheduled, but that was just the tip of the ice burg that hit me. It is over and done with. What is done is done. Now to focus on getting a goodnight's sleep and winning tomorrow's fight. I feel so consumed by everything here and so I couldn't sleep well. I ended up resorting to watching X-Factor clips on YouTube to take my mind off of things. It worked to a certain extent but when I then realized how late it was and that everyone else in this house were asleep, all 8 others here, I tuned into 8Trakcs to listen to music. Only then did I feel better. We use 8Tracks at Hulk's for all our training music so when I sign into it on my phone I can see what previous playlists Snickers has blasted at the club. He's been playing a lot of playlists with tags such as "badass bi÷c#" and Korean music.... Hahaha. The Korean music may not be my thing but I definitely can appreciate him channelling some fierce female fighting music. Feeling the fierce vibes here from Korea.
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