Avoiding Stress With Self-Induced Pain... Wednesday, December 3

Perhaps because it's Christmas and tis the season for giving that some particular people decided to give me extra stress today -- Stress gave me stress.  It happened around 3pm today when I was behind in my list of things to do before training.  "I think I'll train now," I told Snickers and with that I headed off to the bathroom at the back of the club.  When I came out of the toilet stall one of my members was standing at the doorway.  "Stress come now... juice bar", he told me.  

Side note here:  The code word for Mama Kim (my MIL) among several of my members is "Stress". 

"...I guess I'm training now", I told myself.

Walked out of the bathroom and noticed that yes, Mama Kim had arrived, she was sitting in the juice bar area but she hadn't come alone.  She had brought my older sister-in-law and her baby and they had brought my other sister-in-law's baby... great.  

"Hmmm... yes, I'm most definitely training now!"

Both babies are no longer in my I-refuse-to-hold-you stage and by that I mean I absolutely refuse to hold anyone's super young baby.  It totally freaks me out like they're some kind of ticking time bomb, seriously!  So the babies are no longer fresh-out-of-the-womb but instead are at the butterball stage where they're all pudge.  I still don't want to hold them and I especially don't want to hold them when Mama Kim is around, heaven help her blurt out something like "this [referring to me with a baby in my arms] is a good look on you" or "you need to start getting used to this" again.  What is it with people who have babies trying to push those who don't have babies to have one?!  I see you with your baby puke on your sweater and lack of sleep written all over your face, you can't fool me.  That doesn't interest me.

Double-standard nonsense...

Why is that people think it's socially acceptable to ask me "Why don't you have/want a baby?" but I'm not allowed to ask "Why do you have a baby?"  I think my question is just as legit as their question, perhaps more actually, but why does my question get me labelled as rude and inappropriate?!  I mean, what if my answer was something really harsh, like I was raped and thus am too emotionally and physically scarred from that.  Perhaps I didn't get the memo from God that stated my role as a woman was to reproduce and not to simply make my life whatever I wanted it to be.  Perhaps my parents and school teachers were wrong this whole time, telling me I could be anything and anyone I wanted to be.  Maybe it's that I can be anything and anyone I want as long as I reproduce.  As for my question, why do they have a baby, I think it's a fair question to ask and with me living in Korea here I am ever so more curious about people's answers.  I just never had the whole I-want-a-baby vibe and so I'm honestly and "unsarcastically" curious.  I think most Koreans have kids because it's so ingrained in their culture that you go to school, get a job, get married, and have a baby -- that is life.  

Moreover, another thing I hate hearing people tell me is "Oh, one day you'll change your mind and want a kid" but I'm not allowed to say "One day you'll change your mind and not want that kid."  I've met my share of rotten kids via teaching English in Korea and just in life in general and so often I look at that rotten kid and wonder if that parent envies me for not having to deal with such nonsense.  I may not like that spoiled brat but someone does, I know.

So anyways, back to my Stress-induced training...

My boxing training usually lasts a solid hour and then I do 30-40 minutes of weight training.  Today my boxing lasted two hours.  I was obviously exhausted and really dragging myself through some gruelling training but I wasn't going to stop until Stress had left the club.  

"Why are you training so hard, Amy?  Do you have a fight?" asked one member.  

"Shhh..." interrupted another.  "Snickers' mother is here."  

"Ohhhhhh...."

Snickers' mother isn't so bad anymore, I'll admit that, but I think a part of that has to do with the fact that I don't really give her the opportunity to get bad...anymore.  I keep our chats limited and I call the shots with our visits which means our visits together almost always consist of me going to her house so that I have an easier exit.  And our time together is always food-focused, meaning I only go if and when she's cooking.  

So I boxed.  I boxed a lot today and I boxed until they left.  Now I have the bloody, bruised knuckles to vouch for it.