After church I was escorted to the subway by one of the young guys who goes to my church. He is relatively new to Toronto having moved here from Edmonton so we chatted a bit about why we both have moved here.
I didn't think much of our short conversation until much later in the day, when I trained at System with one of my Mauy Thai boxing buddies. We chatted about last night's launch party and somehow got into a little discussion about trying to live a simple life. "I just train, eat, sleep, repeat", I told him. I told him that but both he and I knew lately that hasn't been true. After working out, I then left System and met with my boy J who also touched bases on this idea.
"How much do you sensor your homepage because of what's going on and who is reading it now?", he asked. I may not know exactly who is reading my homepage but I know I definitely sensor it more these days. I created this certain image of myself in Korea, an image that is very good for my business but one that sensors out some of the complications I struggle with now more than ever. Only a handful of close friends know of the "complications" I am referring to here and I really don't care to elaborate more on them actually. I am here in Canada to find myself, explore myself and figure out what it is I want, that is basically it in a nutshell. As for what that means in regards to specifics, methods and details, well again I rather not elaborate more here.
My buddy J and I met up for dinner tonight and dinner turned into drinks -- a five hour social I wasn't exactly expecting. A vast portion of our chat focused on my love life, my marriage, and he gave me a lot of food for thought as well as some questions to seriously sit down and ask myself. That's the beauty of my boy J and why I love our chats so much. He always gives me an intelligent and objective opinion and leaves me pondering a new perspective. Everyone needs a good friend like J; I love that dude.
I parted ways with him after midnight and sat on the bus wondering what would really happen if I was so open and honest on my homepage and didn't sensory things out. People are going to think what they want to think regardless, true, but why not just throw it out there and see what becomes of it.
3 comments:
I think that's a great idea.
I think you will be surprised by the amount of support you will receive from readers, like me!
I am a woman who is in her forties and living a mediocre life with many regrets and many " if only ....." moments. I think you are immensely brave and applaud you for taking time out for yourself. So many of us grow up thinking we have to fit a certain mold, be a certain way, worry about what others think of us and not put ourselves first. I regret not putting myself first and now I am middle aged with kids and will never have the opportunities I once did. It's not selfish to put yourself first, it's healthy for the body and mind.
Have a good year in Canada and enjoy!
Your Big Fan.
:)
I think you might be surprised to learn how many people can guess pretty accurately what's going on. Some things are rather obvious by what you DON't say. Others I think people have wondered about for a while and it might just be good to be honest about who you are or aren't.
Well, it's obvious something's not right with your marriage, for example. Whether you choose to be honest or not depends on how important the fake image is.
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