...and just like that, at exactly 6:45am, I was messaged that I'd only be receiving half my monthly sponsorship. Try digesting that with your morning breakfast and then keeping that down so that exactly an hour later, when you're expected to show up at the boxing club for sparring, you can get your head in the game and show them what you got.
That was my morning.
That was my morning news and all other news was instantly irrelevant.
My monthly allowance - (rent + hydro + Rogers + TTC pass) = $5.
Sure, I work. I work part time though and a good chunk of that money goes to either groceries or things like printing fees and business meetings for projects I'm working on. Toronto is so much more expensive than Korea. My coffee at Starbucks, $2. I get a Pike coffee and not because I particularly like it but because my cappuccino with extra shot is way too expensive for this starving athlete. And my morning breakfast with Coach Brown after training, he always pays for that. So it's not like I'm spending crazy money.
I was completely in shock when I got the news but I know it's due to something not that I did but things others didn't do. It's hard to accept this fact though and it only stresses the fact that I hate depending on others. I can't totally point the blame on them though, I know I have responsibility here too. After all it was me who let them into my life. I shouldn't have depending on them like I did. I gave them too much power.
I spent the entire day on the verge of crying and while in the subway, on route to go see Ginger Spice, I must admit that it became obvious I was struggling. A man sitting across from me saw me starring at the ceiling, as to fight off the tears, and he asked me if I was okay. I was all choked up, I couldn't even talk, so I just faked a smile and closed my eyes.
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