Still Feels like Yesterday She Left... Sunday, May 8

It's the first Mother's Day I've been able to celebrate in 11 years, my first Mother's Day in Canada, but my mom has since passed so I can't even celebrate it with her. Reason 101 why I wanted to come back to Canada: I've lost a lot of time and life with loved ones.

I knew today would be a hard day for my father, my Papa Bere, and I assumed it'd be a hard one for me too.  I'm still very much living a lot of firsts here in Canada so holidays and special events are all that heightened and hyped up in my mind.  My friend Rev Tiger has been inviting me to come attend the special mens choir that performs at his church every second Sunday of the month and with today being both the second Sunday of the month and Mother's Day I figured it be the perfect way to celebrate today with my father.  So my dad drove out to Toronto here to attend the service with me and it was beautiful.  Instantly upon walking into the church we were greeted by members, all smiles and eager to say hi and ask us who we were.  Then Rev Tiger approached us and hugged me.  He told my father that he was a good friend of mine from System and that I'm always so full of energy.

During the service the Men in Praise, the mens only choir, performed a special song for Mother's Day.  It was a beautiful song that definitely hit a sensitive cord in me because I got all teary-eyed over it and how relevant it was to my own mom.  It was a beautiful performance, absutely beautiful, and after it they handed out formation flowers to all the mothers in attendance.  When one of the days handing them out approached me I told her that I wasn't a mother.  "I know", she told me, "but I lost my mother and saw your pain during the song, it is just like mine". 

After the service my friend, Rev Tiger, came to talk to my father and I again and to introduce his wife to us.  In talking with us he and my father started talking about my mom and Rev Tiger shared his past struggle too. 

I have only seen my father shed a tear three times in my life...

1st time was when my Baba (his mother) died.

2nd time was when I was put in isolation at the hospital because the doctors initially couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.

3rd time was at my mother's funeral viewing.

Today was the 4th time -- when he shared his story with Rev Tiger.

Both my father and I left the service all wet eyed but it was good.  We had been touched... moved... and it was powerful.