As the story has it, one day I headed to the opposite side of the globe – the Flipside. I arrived in Asia February 16th, 2005 and thought I’d do a year, then leave. Years later and I’m still here. I went from being some random foreign girl to taking on labels I never imagined – university professor, film extra, professional boxer, reality TV star, CEO of my own girls-only fitness company (Flipside Fitness), CEO of my own boxing club (Hulk's Club, formerly known as Hulk's Boxing), and now I'm launching my 3rd business -- Empowered Clubhouse.

After 11.5yrs in Korea, I then picked up one day and left. I returned to Toronto, Canada with Flipside Fitness on my brain, Hulk's in my heart, boxing in my bag, and my four-legged friend Balboa Button by my side. But then I left again. This time it was for the Philippines. That's where I'm at now, living in the land of the happy people.

The struggles are real and the struggles are many but I'm living life on my terms, I'm calling the shots, and I'm doing what I love.

Life is an amazing adventure and this is my story of yesterday.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Still Struggling with Korea... Sunday, July 17

I've been really missing Korea these days and struggling with this fact.  

Correction, I've been really missing Hulk's these days.  I miss Hulkies asking me to do their monthly inbody checks, Hulkies asking me when is the next crossfit circuit class with me, cooking food for my Hulkies, and setting up fun games and exercises for my mini Hulkies.  

I miss having a place, a spot where I am needed... a niche.  

Snickers now calls me somewhat on the regular and we joke like we're buddies, as if all that's wrong between us has never happened.  It happened though.  I can't forget so I can't forgive. He talks about wanting to move here to Canada and the business he's interested in starting here but all I think of when he talks about that is the thought of his family wanting to come visit, the idea of them wanting to follow him here.  

Canada isn't a country Snickers fits, I am no longer a person he fits with, and his family is not welcomed here.  This is my world.  It's untainted and I'd like to keep it that way.

My life here is so much different than that which I lead in Korea.  For starters, it's full of friends.  Friends here that I am closer to than my own actual family.  I have family here but I think I was closer with them when I lived in Korea than now that I'm back.  I guess I thought that when I came back to Canada we'd become closer because now I'm actually physically in the country.  I'm the elephant in the room when greeted by them.  They are clueless as to what's going on (or not going on I guess I should say) with Snickers and my club back in Korea and I can't really get upset with them for that because it was my doing.  None the less, none of them but one cousin has really reached out to me.  

My family's annual reunion is coming up at the end of this week and I'm hesitant as to whether or not I'll be attending.  Last year I attended and I dodged having to reveal the seriousness of my decision to come to Canada by telling them what I told everyone, that I am here as a sponsored athlete for a year.

To tell you the truth, when I left Korea I left with really no intentions of ever returning.  I wanted to leave the life I was living.  It had become a life of secrets and pain; a life with many things missing.  I wanted to start a new life.  I needed to start a new life.  I knew no one was going to save me there because I had put up such a wall to protect anyone from knowing what was really happening in my life.  Now I speak quite freely and open about it but with friends.  My family is still very much left in the dark with just how lonely and hard life had become for me in Korea. 
  
Now I can't throw them the "I'm-only-here-for-a-year" card at them because it's almost been a full year.  I need to come up with a new card because I don't think they're ready for the actual truth.

My plan is to either bring a friend to the BBQ party with me or not go at all.  

I should just show up with a date and give everyone something to really talk about!!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Amy,

I'm glad you have clarity on your situation and realize that Snickers trying to come to Canada and all the family complications that will ensue is not something you want.

You are a survivor and will continue to build a new life in Canada and will flourish.

Please stay resolute in the fact you don't need Snickers and all the negativity that he comes with.

Keep fighting the good fight and live your life in Canada, happy and free.

Take care.

Your Long Time Reader